Marriage Manual – #2

When your son calls and says, “Dad, I need someone to help me drive the truck up from Houston Texas to bring back all of my stuff”, you will automatically say “Of course”.

Marriage Manual – #1

You will drive your children to the moon and back to make them happy.  Your parents did it, now it’s your turn.

this is a list of things my dad would come up with as why he would be such a great person.

Love the ones your with

It’s a sad day at work, the owners son died this weekend at the ripe old age of 47.  I had met him a few times, talked martial arts and water skiing with him.  In fact we talked for about 40 minutes on the beach in Puerto Rico about 3 weeks ago.

And now he’s gone.

It really came to me that my biggest nightmare in life is to outlive my children.  I can’t even imagine what it must have been like for Al to have to go up and eulogize his son.  I can’t imagine what it must have been like for his brother and sister or his wife to have to do it, but my heart breaks for Al and his wife at having to bury their son.

It makes you really take a moment and realize what your life is like, what is important, what just isn’t.  I think that a lot of us get caught up in so much meaningless bullshit that we don’t take the time to really think about and appreciate the gifts that we’re given and how much we have to be thankful for.

Do yourself a favor.  Call everyone  you love and tell them.  Think about things that you’ve said to people, have always meant to take back, but haven’t.  Call them and apologize.  Don’t leave that sitting out there because you may never have the chance to tell them how you really feel.

school and the wonderful barrel of crap that goes with it

When I Was growing up, I never really had many problems in school.  I was always one of the biggest kids in the class, I grew up on a block with lots of families and was involved in so many different things that I never had to worry about who to hang out with, or what to do during recess.

Aidan is having some serious issues, and I feel totally unequipped to help him.  How do you tell a kid, how to deal with the infinite amount of crap that is so worthless and meaningless and will totally go POOF once everyone graduates and realized how much of an infinite amount of crap elementary, middle and high school was.  It’s all so stupid and I want to tell him to ignore it, but the kid is sitting at lunch alone while kids are picking on him and making fun of him.  I can tell there are times when he was telling me about it that he wanted to cry from lonliness, shame, and embarrassment.  I want to cry just thinking about it, just talking to him about it, just sitting here writing as a father to a son who is being emotionally abused.

Want to talk about feeling impotent?  It took me almost 30 minutes of talking and reasoning with him to even get him to tell me whats wrong, what’s going on, what’s so obvious to me that is eating away at him.  I want to go and stomp on every single one of the little a-holes that pick on him and make him feel like a victim.

That’s the biggest problem here really.  He’s taken so much of it, that I think he’s starting to believe he is a victim.  God help him if he starts believing it.

We talked about some strategies, and how to navigate through some of the more obvious pitfalls that I can see from the outside.  Tonight taught me that I am a good parent in that I knew that there was something inherently wrong, and taught me that my son needs some serious advice and help from his dear old Mom and Dad.  For Fae, she’s reliving her nightmare all over again.

Time to make that stop.

Listening…

I’ve been asked by a few people to share music I’ve been finding.

Found something great last week – just got it on ITunes – Paolo Nutini

Trying to figure out who this guy sounds like. Haven’t had a chance to check out more of his stuff, but he’s awesome.