Finishing things…
July 26th, 2008 mattdaddyWhere is my head? My head is thinking that I’m a big fat pig. No offence to pigs tho, seriously. Nice animals if a big pink.
I’ve been reading about people doing cleansing, people going on drastic diets, people working out like fiends. You know what? I don’t need to lose 50lbs. I need to be healthy.
I think the kicker was seeing Mr. Mean Person today in the store and the fact that my shirt was hanging over my belly. That so fucking depressed me. (don’t ask about the mean people, I’ll explain it another time, I promise) I’m not sure why it did, but he’s gotten into shape and looks pretty good, and I gotta say, I hate him for it.
As I write this, I am thinking of the real angst, the real crux of the matter here. I am not feeling like I’m getting anything done. I’ve got some stuff going on at work, and it’s a really big set of changes, but they feel like they are taking forever. I’m trying to work on a new language to possibly program in for a suite of projects for work, but the timing is just off with everything. I’m snapping at the kids, I’m constantly in a bad mood, I’m worried as hell about my wife – again, something I’ll go into detail at a later time, she’s okay, don’t worry – I just seem to be turning in circles and not getting anywhere. Not able to get my hands around anything and just finish it.
Why does that bother me? Is it the process of finishing something that I can’t accomplish? I am the master of starting things. The master of good ideas that start really well. I’ve been trying to write a novel for 10 years and have nothing more than 5-10 pages of about 30 different concepts. I think that’s the thing I always wrestle with, starting and finishing things.
Bleah, I don’t feel good. I think I’m going to go out for a walk.
But before I do – do you have a way to shift my perception into being able to look at things differently and finish things, or do you have the same issues as I do.