13Aug/083
BRHT – Big Rotten Hairy Tomato
Think of a nasty rotten hairy tomato that has sat out for WAY Too long, has why hairs and green sludge on it. Okay, go it? Now, here are the people I wanted to throw it at yesterday:
- the a-hole on 287S who decided to cut me off and then slow down to talk on his phone while traffic is a mile clear ahead of him. You get a BFHT.
- the guy who decided he didn't have to wait so he slid up the shoulder ahead of everyone and jumped in just before the exit. You get a BFHT
- Every Single CT Driver on Sunday on my way to and from Gilli's camp who decided that it was okay to do 30 miles under the speed limit in the LEFT LANE. You get TWO BFHT EACH.
Are you sensing a traffic oriented trend? I thought you might. Grrrr. LEARN TO DRIVE PEOPLE! STOP FEELING ENTITLED!!!
Please feel free to add your own. Might have to come up with a small little rotten tomato graphic.
August 13th, 2008 - 12:22
Ok yeah, I’m going to call you on something.
What says you are entitled to have everyone drive and behave in a manner that bests suits you? The a-hole felt he was entitled to talk on his phone… granted that may not be the wisest way to behave while driving, but did he cut you off intentionally? One thing I’ve learned from my motorcycle riding is that most people in traffic just have no idea that you are there. They don’t behave maliciously, just vacuously.
I’ve often thought about my own driving behaviors and my own desires to call someone on the road a schmuck (or other colorful stream of words) for how they’re behaving. But I realize that I’m only seeing this person for a few seconds and I have no idea what’s going on with them. Maybe they have a legit distraction… e.g. I recall one dark night, I’m getting off the highway, on the exit ramp, I see a pair of headlights zoom up behind me and start to flash wildly. I think the guy’s a a-hole and don’t give him the satisfaction. Get onto the feeder road, the guy then zooms around me and I watch where he ends up: in the emergency room entrance of the hospital (my initial thought was pregnant wife in the car, going into labor, had to get there now… but who knows what the emergency was). I felt horible because I felt some sort of entitlement, but in the larger scheme of it all that driver’s needs were more important than mine. I couldn’t have known, but my ego kept me from yielding.
So maybe those people going 30 MPH under the speed limit, maybe they had just as much reason to behave that way as you had justification to want to speed along. So who is more entitled to their behavior here? And who says they needed to behave in a manner that facilitated your life? How were they supposed to even know?
Point is, I found that I don’t know the stories of the other people on the road, and they can’t be expected to know mine. Yeah maybe I’m not getting my way, but that’s life sometimes. I also can’t expect others to kowtow to my behaviors and act in the manner I prefer. I mean, just how is that really going to work out? And would I want someone to do that same to me? Would I want someone to tell me that I have to behave in the way they want me to behave to please them?
So, I can’t change others, but I can change myself. So, instead of getting pissed off about it, I yield. Maybe I’ve spent too much time studying Tao Te Ching, maybe too much time in martial arts studying the power of yielding, of “going with the flow”, water theory, and all that. But I found the more I do that, the calmer I am, and the less all that crap bothers me. Sure I still can get a little steamed on the road, sure I shake my head at the things I see happen, and sure I get really bothered when I’m on my motorcycle and someone nearly kills me because of their stupidity and vacuousness. But I can’t control them, I can only control me. If I get mad, then I’ve let myself down… and that’s more important ego to satisfy.
At least for me.
August 13th, 2008 - 13:02
damn dude, long post:) And I hear you about driving with the flow.
I’m just out there for 3 hours a day minimum and see more than the avg share of idiots.
And you’re right, I don’t know the stories of other people, but how do you feel when you’re in your car, waiting in traffic and someone blows by you illegally in the shoulder and cuts in 5 cars ahead? How can you truly justify that?
True, I’m trying to understand that people might be rushing to the hospital, or late for an interview, but think about it…Doesn’t it feel like they’re entitled?
I do need to calm down, but going 45 mph, in a 65 mph highway in the left lane, talking on your phone when there’s no traffic anywhere? That’s just shitty. Granted, all I have to do is blow by them on the right hand side, but in CT, it’s illegal to pass on the right.
So they should be even more conscious of being in the left lane, right?
August 13th, 2008 - 16:44
Oh I don’t deny that people sometimes need to get their head out of their ass… but I also suppose we’re all guilty of that at some time or other. So I try not to hold it against others that they’re human, make mistakes, and do stupid things from time to time. Until I can rid myself of making mistakes and doing dumb things from time to time well… should I really hold it against others when they do the same? I’m not saying I don’t do it from time to time, but I try not to. That in and of itself is something I’m working on in myself.
Sure someone driving like that ticks me off, especially on my motorcycle. I’ve had that happen more than enough times… bike lane or shoulder on the right, I’m in the right-most “car lane”, I’m going to turn right, and some buttmunch opts to drive in the illegal “lane” and make the right turn… and being on my motorcycle and they about kill me, yeah sure that really bothers me. I can’t justify it, I can’t excuse it, but I have come to expect that that’s how people will behave. I have high expectations for how I think people should behave, but I’m come to live with a lot of disappointment because most people can’t live up to those standards… and I accept that. I can’t change them, I can’t expect them to change, but I can change myself. So I drive more defensively, I expect that bad things will happen, and I just try to let it go because me getting mad only ruins my day…. my time, energy, and emotion are too precious to me to waste on something and someone that obviously isn’t worth the time, energy, and emotion.
Basically, I am coming to accept the world as it is, and if there’s anything I have control over it’s myself. So, I try to act accordingly… especially in terms of whether I get mad over the stupidity of others or not.