Naked Men on the hill
No, I was not happy about it either.
I'm lying on the couch yesterday, reading a book, the kids are upstairs watching TV, when I hear my daughter yell, "Dad, there's a naked guy out on the hill!" There is a hill behind our house that kids sled on, so I looked out the window, saw some kids, one of which had a tan overall on, so I figured it was just her catching it wrong.
"He's not naked honey, he's just wearing brown pants."
And that was the end of it, so I thought.
They go out to sled an hour or so later, and go to get their friends first. I am in the kitchen and can see them coming down the path towards the hill. I see some activity on the hill, so I looked.
And there, standing BUCK Naked except for his shoes is a kid and a sled. I think he was maybe 14, and totally butt ass naked. He was indian, hence the dark skin my daughter saw. It was NOT the kid in the tan coverall, he was standing next to him, laughing his ass off.
Rage. Pure and simple. I'm a very non-confrontational man, and in hindsight, I should have just brought my kids inside with their friends and called the police. I didn't think, I just stormed out in a pair of sweats, a tshirt, and my boots.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!?" I screamed at the top of my lungs standing on the hill. He's down at the bottom laughing with his friends. Needless to say, he stopped laughing. He didn't answer tho.
"Are you fucking KIDDING ME?" I screamed at him and his friends. "What the hell are you thinking?"
"No one was around, no one could see." he said meekly.
"REALLY?" I shouted. (You have to realize, I don't shout). "I can see you from my Fucking WINDOW! Get the hell out of here, all of you before I call the police"
"Don't punish my friends for something I did sir." he said, again, meekly.
"You, shut up. You" I said, wheeling on his friend. "Do you think it's legal to be standing outside naked? Do you think it was okay for him to be doing this?" He just dropped his eyes and shook his head.
"All of you, get the hell out of here before I do something you'll regret that will make me feel a lot better."
They ran needless to say. And Conan the Barbarian stood on the hill top, beating his chest, feeling very manly.
Now....WTF? The only thing I can think of is it was a dare gone bad, but if you think about it, he did it more than once obviously. Would you have done anything like this? On a bright sunny day, with condo's all around with big windows?
Dude, I hate to say it, but WTF is with kids today???
December 22nd, 2008 - 19:23
Okay I don’t know if I’m a weirdo or what, but the thought of a naked sledder just makes me smile.
And I don’t know… what’s more traumatic to your daughter or son? Seeing a naked teenager, or seeing their dad wigged out, swearing, and in a rage?
I know what my mom would have said if she caught a naked sledder in our yard. The same thing I would say.
“YOU’LL CATCH YOUR DEATH OF COLD ! ” Followed by, perhaps… “Do you need some clothes?”
December 22nd, 2008 - 20:08
Alison, you aren’t a weirdo. At least I don’t think so.
As someone who was there when this was going down (but who didn’t witness the actual nekkid sledder), I have to admit that my gut reaction was, “Are they overreacting to this?” But I have to keep in mind that (a) I don’t have kids, and (b) I have a mom who works with sexually abused children, so my meter for what is something to worry about is set higher than “stupid, naked teenager probably responding to a dare”. I thought the kid was STUPID, but the idea that Matt’s kids might have seen him naked didn’t seem that worrisome to me. If the kid had taken off his pants intentionally to do it in front of the 9 year-old girl, I’d have opened up a can of whupass to match Matt’s. The difference in intent seems relevant to me. (I discussed this with Matt’s wife, and she specifically said the difference in intent was completely irrelevant to her, which is fair.) But I’m not sure the kid gave any thought to any children being around, nor was even aware of the fact that they were. (Did I mention “stupid”?)
So, yeah, I wasn’t understanding the problem. But, again, I don’t have kids and don’t know how I would react if I did, and my children were involved.
December 22nd, 2008 - 20:15
Oh, by the by, Matt, I also found myself wondering why you guys were so worried about whether G had seen the kid naked, and not A. I’m curious, if you are of a mind to ‘splain. If not, feel free to not do so.
December 22nd, 2008 - 20:22
OMG – part of me is enraged with you, and the other part of me is…
LMFAO.
lol – sorry. Couldn’t help it. It’s one of those – it’s funny when it’s not happening to you things. But if it were reversed, and I had a daughter who saw that outside our window…
Um… yeah. I would’ve flipped.
Considering that I have all boys, and trying to imagine THEIR reactions?
We would’ve been laughing our asses off.
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December 22nd, 2008 - 22:44
I’m sorry, but I don’t know you, but I am totally picturing Mattdaddy screaming at this naked kid on a the hill. I can’t stop laughing…
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December 23rd, 2008 - 11:19
I think I wasn’t as worried about A as I was about G because it’s the opposite sex. If it was a naked girl sledding, I wouldn’t have wanted him to see her just as much as I didn’t want her seeing the guy.
It’s not the notion of naked sledding, either. How would you feel if there was just someone standing in front of your house or apartment, naked, for no reason? Add to it, your Mom or someone else close to you.
It comes down to the notion that this is my home, and I had a kid Naked out in front of it. Regardless of the reason for it, I wouldn’t like naked people – male or female – out in front of my house. Not with my kids around, not cool.
M@s last blog post..Naked Men on the hill
December 23rd, 2008 - 19:02
It sounds like it totally didn’t occur to him that his actions might offend anyone else until you’ll called him out on it. I understand your reaction. I have 3 teenagers. The older two are boys and if THEY saw this, I might find it funny. My youngest is a 15 year old girl and if SHE saw this it would freak me out. Kids get such mixed messages as it is about what is ok and what isn’t.
December 23rd, 2008 - 21:48
I see your point, but again not sure I agree. At fourteen the kid was being a kid, doing something stupid and random. Teenager do that (from experience). Also because they were shocked at being caught and tried to explain themselves shows that they were pretty innocent. Stupid, but innocent. If the kid had mouthed back at you and told you to “go to hell” then I would have been really upset.
I agree the sight of you yelling at them would be worth the price of admission.
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December 30th, 2008 - 11:53
Dang with all the steam coming out of your head, I’m surprised there was any snow left to sled on..
I know, I’m totally wrong to be laughing so hard at your Naked Buck Hill story. Maybe that is what you should refer to it as from now on – Naked Buck Hill.
Just imagine when they boy is old enough to have kids of his own and his spawn does something like this!
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