How to be a better Dad, by M@

Not that I follow all of my own advice, but still, here’s what I have picked up so far, and I hope that it’ll help those of you who are doing the NewDaddyBlogs rather than people like me – I guess I qualify as SoonToBeDrivenInsaneByTweenDaddyBlog?

They are so cute right now. Wait until they start talking. You want them to stand, walk, and talk so badly you can taste it. Then you spend the rest of their lives(that they live with you) getting them to sit down and shut up 🙂

Do I do that? No, but I like passing on that nugget of wisdom, it makes me crack up. Ugh, ever type with a finger that you’ve cut the nail too close or you rip part of it off right now? I’m dying right now, but I feel it necessary to pass along this info to you. I’ll clean the blood off my keys later 😉

So what’s it like being the father of an 11 yr old and an 9 yr old? Wow, where do I begin. He doesn’t like being alone. She talks and sings in class and gets in trouble for it (sort of). He’s weird like me. She’s independent like my wife. They yell “Daddy!!” when I come in the door and run to give me a hug. They are friends. I’m freaking because I know they are going to start, very soon, thinking the opposite sex is neat instead of icky. I think it’ll be her sooner than him 😉

It’s frustrating, it’s nerve wracking, it’s cool as hell and wonderful all at the same time. You have to make decisions and actually consider their feelings and recently, allow them to have their say. You have to try to guide them without making it seem like you’re telling them what to do. You have to be their friend as well as be their parent, and sometimes the latter really sucks!

So here’s my advice. My number one thing that you MUST MUST MUST do to be a successful parent.

You have to present a united front with your spouse/partner because if you don’t, they’ll see it, and figure it out quickly. I don’t always agree with something my wife does, but I will always support her and then maybe talk to her about it later. There have been times, however, that we haven’t pow-wowed beforehand and she or I will call each other on it.

One of the things I remember growing up was that my parents could do no wrong, they didn’t make mistakes, they were always right. One of the most important things we are trying to get across to our kids is the fact that we are human. Fae and I both had serious problems with drugs and alcohol when we were young, so much so that we don’t drink or smoke to this day. I think her addiction was probably worse than mine, but it’s something we decided together. We also decided to explain to the kids that Mommy and Daddy did this when they were young, and this is what happened. Mommy has problems with her nose because of everything she put up it, and Daddy took 11 years to finish college because for a large portion of that, he was too busy smoking pot and goofing off.

We believe that by providing examples of what happens, that we can hopefully cut off the addictive personalities they can inherit from both of us later in life. We also hope that they can see that people do make mistakes and that we are EXTREMELY LUCKY to not only have found one another, but to have succeeded as much as we have.

I remember learning about drugs and alcohol in high school – Oh I’m never going to do that! NO WAY! I was adamant. 2 years later, I’m failing out of the same college for the second time because I was smoking way too much pot and barely studying or going to class.

What’s the main lesson from all of this rambling – be honest with your kids. Be the friend when you can, and be the Parent when you need to be. Follow through with things you say, or don’t say them.

Anyway, hope this helps. Solidified all that rambling in my own head 🙂

Feeling good about feeling bad

I am sore.  It’s official.  And I’m pissed off because I’m DEFINITELY eating better and I have been exercising, but I am over what I was 2 weeks ago, which really pisses me off.

Anyway…There is a gym downstairs, and as I have said in past posts, I have been working out semi-regularly with my boss, so it’s been better than I have been in the past.  2 weeks ago, I went and worked out in the gym, at least running and doing pushups and situps 3 days plus my day of Kendo, so I felt good going into the weekend.

Last week, I went into the gym and worked out with my boss – running and working with the hand pads doing punches and kicks and that was about it for the week.  Then I went to Long Island to my folx and ate entirely too much food.  Hence weighing in more than 2 weeks ago.  Plus, I think I might be putting on a little muscle weight, but that could be my delusional side thinking again 😉

So I was actually looking forward to Tuesdays workout.  It was good, we did more punching, plus a full set of 40 pushups and situps and a solid run of 10 min or so.  Felt sore, but good.  Went to practice last night and swung the sword for a good 1.5 hours.  Okay, now things are tight and really sore.  Took a hot shower and loosened things up.  Maybe I should drink some more water.  Nah..I’ll be okay.

Woke up this morning – please, send me back 2 hours.  I want more sleep.|
I don’t want to pack up my workout clothes.  Shit, if I don’t, I’m going to let my boss down.  *Sigh* okay, I’ll do it.
Got into work, feeling like utter crap.  Boss comes in still sore from Tuesday.  He’s thinking it, I’m thinking it, but thankfully, he was the strong one today – “I’m sore as hell, I have my stuff, and we’re working out”


“Okay, you’re right” and you know what, I’m glad I went to work out.  I worked out a lot of the soreness, and tho I’m physically tired, I’m feeling pretty good.  We kept it light on the bags, and extended the run and did more pushups and situps.

So yeah, I’m feeling pretty good about feeling pretty sore 🙂

my day

Work was good, got a bunch of stuff done that I wanted to, didn’t on a bunch of stuff I wanted to.  What are you going to do.

Things I learned today – working out excess energy with a friend is a well spent 40 minutes.  I’m glad I’m getting into a routine with my boss about working on punching and kicking.  We even got some running and some pushups and sit-ups in there too.  It’d be nice to make it a regular regimen so that when it gets warm outside, we can do some stuff outside.  Might even teach him some of my weapons stuff, it’d be nice to have someone to literally cross swords with.

Things to look forward to – getting my kendo uniform, possibly being able to use bogu before to long.  My parents have told me that they’re going to send me to a Kendo Camp this summer, and if he can qualify for bogu before the summer, that they’ll pay to send Aidan as well.  Spoke to Sensei about it last week and she’s going to order Aidan’s gi and hakama so that he can get it under the tree for the holidays 🙂  I already have a hakama from when I was doing Iaido with my Aikido instructor.  One of the things they do at the camp is Iaido, so I’m hoping to do that as well.

Why am I up at 12:28am?  Because Mike whines if I don’t post regularly.  I promise I’ll have something more poignant tomorrow, k?