Sorry I haven’t posted in a while, work and life took me down for a roll and kept me busy for a while. Nothing major, just a lot of stuff going on and the last thing I wanted to do when I got home was get back in front of my computer. This post is going to be about the title theme, but from several different angles.
I was going to work the other day, and I was sleepy so I stopped to get a cup of coffee on my way in. Something went weird with one of our credit cards and Fae had to cancel it, and was waiting for the new one. No big deal, it’s just that my Easy Pass was connected to it, and I couldn’t remember how much the Tappan Zee Bridge cost. So I ask a guy standing next to me if he knew. “I’m not sure how much I’ll need and all I have is 5$.” I said after he mentioned he didn’t know either. So this total stranger peels off a five and tries to hand it to me. “Here, just in case you haven’t got enough.”
How freakin cool is that? I’ve been down on my fellow man lately, seeing lots of misbehaved kids, flippant adults, and outright A-Holes in my travels, and up jumps this decent guy willing to just hand me a 5. Granted, it’s 5$, not 100$, but still, it was just a really nice gesture. I thanked him greatly, told him I was going to get some money out of the ATM, but I really appreciated it. He smiled and left. I think the universe was just tapping me on the shoulder and saying “SEE! There is someone else out there who thinks of crap like this and just does it.”
Speaking of being nice, Fae and I have been rather snappish with one another lately, and it occurred to me that all it takes is slight misunderstandings, miscommunications, and a dash of winter doldrums mixed in with me turning 40 and her not being able to make fun of me because her 41st is coming up to realize that it just takes little stuff to make it better too.
I’ve been really defensive lately, throwing up walls when I feel attacked, whether it’s real or imagined. So I decided to spend more time being loving and demonstrative, and less time finding fault, being aggressive, or defensive. I think that couples go through waves in their relationships, tides that being them apart for a time and back together just as quickly. No, we’re not having serious marital issues, just periods of time when I don’t feel as close as I would like. I think that what happens is you get so caught up in “getting things done” and being Mom & Dad that you forget that when all is said and done, the kids are going to leave, and the person you live with is going to be there for the long haul. I think that some people end up working towards getting the kids safely off on their own for so long that they turn around, realize it’s just the two of them, take a good look at the other and realize that they’ve become strangers.
Again, that’s not a problem, but I can see how it might be with some people. Since I’ve realized what has been happening for the last week or so, I’ve made it a point of putting my hand on her neck, or kissing her head and hugging her for no reason or getting her a cup of tea when she doesn’t ask for it. Little stuff to help me feel closer to her. She’s responded in kind and I have to say I like it much better this way 🙂 It’s nice because the response has been a lighter air between us, laughs and smiles instead of tension and frustration.
So here’s a task for you all. Do something nice for someone and don’t expect anything in return. See how it makes you feel. Even if it’s just a smile for someone who looks down, or a good morning to a co-worker or neighbor. Wake up everyone, hopefully spring is coming soon.