Whoops!

“Honey?”

“Yeah?”

“If you’re going downstairs, can you make me a scone with some of the clotted cream?”

“Sure Hun.”

So like the nice husband I am, I go and make her a cup of tea and grab some milk for myself and grab the bread knife and a cinnamon scone to pop into the toaster oven.

Little background – when I was in highschool and college, I worked in a bagelshop so I know my way around knives having used them a lot and seen some horrific cuts.

Yeah, you know what’s coming.  Idiot boy thinking there’s no way he can cut himself didn’t count on the outside edge of the scone being a little harder than the rest of the scone.  So I cut a little harder.  Yep, right into my finger.  “Why didn’t he put it on the counter?” you’re probably asking.

Because I know my way with knives.  Actually, the answer should be, “Because I’m an idiot!”

it’s around 10:30.  I got back from the hospital around 12:30 with two stitches and gauze wrapped around my index finger.  Going to Kendo practice is going to be fun tomorrow for sure

Okay, fess up.  What’s your worst idiot moment?

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Deconstructing Matt

Since this is my online therapy, I might as well really delve into things.  What makes me, me?

I am 40, feeling a bit older than I would like, but in relatively good shape, both mentally and physically.  Emotionally, I’m pretty good there too.  The reason for this post is mostly because I’m happy with lots of things in my life, but I have realized over the last 40 years, that without change, we all become kind of stagnant.  I’m a big believer in things all happening for a reason, and I have to think that the [powers that be/god/allah/insert your flavor of grand entity here] has a plan for me and that while I do have free will and I am capable of influencing my future based on the decisions I make, things happen that sometimes don’t make sense or do make sense, but are all part of some larger plan.

So.  How am I going to deconstruct myself?

I’m going to pick something about me, that has been bugging me and talk about it.  This week, it’s my facination with getting appreciation or approval from people.  My main goal for doing things is to learn, or grow, or change, or help, or do something positive.  I usually try to do things in such a way that I am usually not the only one benefiting from it.  I always want everyone to be happy.  I’m not sure if that would make me the best or the worst mediator in the world.  I have a good heart, and my intentions are always good…well most of the time.  All bets are off when it comes to Newman’s Own Espresso Chip Cookies.  Careful, I might take a finger.

What kind of manager will I make if I’m always wanting everyone to be happy?  I can’t stand disappointing people so I end up stretching myself too thin, and usually end up disappointing someone anyway.  I hate rejection, I hate confrontation, I hate speaking up for things that I feel uncomfortable talking about.

I was in jujitsu today, and was really disappointed in how I did.  I kept messing up, making mistakes, blanking on how to do the techniques.  The problem is, I feel like sometimes I go to class to get Sensei’s approval, which is so the wrong way of approaching it.  I want him to make a comment about “Watch Matt, he’s doing it correctly” or “You’ve been working hard, here’s a gold star”.  The huge problem with this, is when I am feeling insecure and I approach things that way, I’m never going to get what I think I need – which is really what I want, not need.  (I do have to point out that I have been practicing with my bo staff and paired up with him for some drills and he commented on how sharp and crisp my technique was – so I guess I did get what I wanted).  It also throws me way off because I’m concentrating so hard on waiting for him to point out how awesome I am, that I get distracted and do crappy.

So what’s the sum of this whole session of deconstruction – my inherent need for approval needs to take a step back and look at the situation and let my brain take a stab at it before my ego takes over.  I believe this will help me in many different aspects of my life.

Thanks for listening.  Feel free to do the same on your own blog, or in a comment here.

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Tech: Planning for the future

So we are mostly a .NET shop, all of our servers are Windows 2003 using IIS and all of my code is in C#.

What I am wanting to do, is to look out there and find out what is the best way of deciding how we should move forward with operations.  I can continue to build apps in C#, mostly because all of our stuff is written in it already.  The presentation is kind of clunky, but we’re in healthcare, we’re supposed to be behind everyone else.

What I am really looking for is advice on how to move forward with current technology without breaking the bank, having to relearn everything from scratch, and leverage what we already have and can make/change with little upset and not too much adjustment.

I am the developer, the dba, the report writer.  I am for the most part the business analyst in that I go to a lot of folx and try to discover what they NEED, rather than what they want.  We have a Project Manager/Analyst who is brilliant as well, but she’s working with other departments on different projects.

My main goal going forward is to move to a more BI(Business Intelligence) mode, try to leverage the huge amounts of data we are currently gathering and not utilizing to the fullest, use our third party data more effectively for analysis and checks and balances, and allow the company to move forward while at the same time, having a plan in place and moving effectively instead of just because.

If anyone has any suggestions, I’d love to hear them.  I’m the type of person who knows a little about a lot, and it’s making me a little crazy because I don’t have the resources to make the informed decisions I need to make.  What I can picture is something along these lines:

I’d like to leverage the data I have in my current db’s as well as third party data into a data warehouse so I can utilize cubes, Sql Server Analysis Services(SSAS), and pivot tables for projections and analysis.

I’d like to leverage the current apps to continue business, but at the same time find a way to create middle tier apps to serve up data so that I can…

Start moving into a Design based area and separate Design from Code/Business Logic.

I want to separate the design from the business logic, simply because I believe a robust middle tier will allow me to design multiple fronts.  We have quite a lot of regional people, and yet there are plenty of people in the facilities.  I’d like to be able to create an environment that would allow a user on a PC in a facility to be able to access the information they need using a webpage, and yet at the same time create a webservices that would allow people in the field to accomplish things on their blackberrys.

Perfect example – a user in the facility wants to see what requests have been approved.  They see one is still waiting, they call Mgr X in the field, “Oh wow, sorry, let me do it now”, Mgr X opens a page on her blackberry and clicks a few buttons and voila, the request is approved, the order is made, and the piece is on it’s way.

From what my limited understanding told me, I could do that by having some webservice that accomplished my business logic sitting in the middle with a Webpage for a PC user and some kind of microwebpage for a Blackberry user.

I have seen Adobe Flex utilized in several different cool applications and I’ve always been a fan of RIA’s seeing them as a way to encapsulate business applications and allow for different forms – Flex allows you to develop one program and compile it as a SWF for a website, or as an AIR application for the desktop.  I’m not sure if this is the way to go, but I would really like to find out because I like the technology.

I just don’t want to reinvent the wheel.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Posted in Daily Entry, techie | 5 Comments »

Enough!

You know what?  I’m all for snow and playing in it, but it was like mid 50s the other day, and I WANT IT BACK!

Went to sleep as it started snowing last night and woke up to 7 inches and still snowing this morning.  Nice.  Okay, can you take this crap away now?  And what’s with the school district being so wimpy?  I remember walking to school in more than what I had on the ground this morning.  I feel cheated!

I know I know.  Safety and all that crap.  Strap a helmet on em and let them go play in traffic ya wimps!

I’m totally kidding, but is it just me or are people in general a lot more careful with kids and is the effect(affect?) detrimental to their growing up?  Speaking of which, I’m about to go tell my kids to come in.  They’ve been out for hours and the winds is blowing like a mo-fo.

Okay Mike, come back with a crack about how much snow you are having to deal with out in CA.

Posted in Daily Entry | 5 Comments »