Marriage Manual:Ask for what you want

Even tho it might seem like it sometimes, your partner does NOT have ESP.  Nor are they going to be able to pick up subtle and not so subtle hints.  Be Honest.  Just ASK!!!

Be reasonable and think about how it might affect(effect?) your partner, and weigh that against how important it is to you.  If you want something, and you feel guilty about asking for it, not only should ask anyway, but make sure they know you feel guilty about it.  Too many times we just keep things inside ‘knowing’ that they won’t agree – which leads to resentment and misunderstanding.

If you’re honest, and talk about it, you’ll usually get what you want, or based on circumstances, as close as possible 🙂  I want to go to Aruba to go scuba diving, but we can’t afford it.  We CAN however, afford a trip to Hershey Park 🙂

Marriage Manual: Let em sleep

If you’re awake, whether it be because you’re working from home, or because you just can’t sleep anymore, let your honey sleep.  AND KEEP THEM QUIET!!!  Make them breakfast and pack their lunches if they’re going to school.  And make sure you’re away so you put the peanut butter on the bread and not the fritos.  Tho that’s not always a bad thing.

Review: Milk

Netflix blurb: Sean Penn (in an Oscar-winning role) stars in this fact-based drama about Harvey Milk, the openly gay activist and San Francisco politician who was murdered along with mayor George Moscone (Victor Garber) by disgruntled city employee Dan White (Josh Brolin, in an Oscar-nominated role) in 1978. Director Gus Van Sant‘s compelling biopic (nominated for a Best Picture Academy Award) co-stars Emile HirschJames Franco and Diego Luna.

First and foremost – wonderful performance by Sean Penn portraying a groundbreaking spirit in Harvey Milk.  Just watching this movie will make you want to get out and do something about closeminded, scared people.  James Franco, who has been pretty flat in most of the movies I’ve seen him in, was surprisingly good as Scott, Harvey’s lover in the beginning of the movie.  Diego Luna plays Jack, a guy you want to go away about 2 min after you meet him, so obviously he did a great job with his part.

I loved the movie because he took risks, and questioned the establishment, and bucked the system and did it until he won.  He was inspired by the people he inspired and won a great victory.  Killed untimely, but I’m not giving anything away, they say it pretty much in the first scene 🙂

Review: Stay

Netflix blurb: This racy thriller bends reality about five different ways when a psychologist’s (Ewan McGregor) suicidal client starts making bizarre predictions that, to everyone’s mounting consternation, begin to come true. Now, the shrink must race against the clock to save everything he loves before it disappears forever. Naomi WattsRyan GoslingBob Hoskins and Janeane Garofalo co-star in this suspenseful yarn directed by Marc Forster.

So what did I like?  Well, Ewan McGregor and Ryan Gosling are two of my favorite actors and having them in the same movie was a big bonus.  Naomi Watts is fairly good playing Naomi Watts – it might be that I haven’t seen her enough, but tho she is a good actress, she’s never thrilled me in anything I’ve seen.  The supporting cast was great, especially Bob Hoskins.  Nice little mind fucker at the end too.  The thing that I liked the most, however, was the cinematography.  Just Wow.  The way they bleed into and out of scenes (no, that’s not a hint) is spectacular.  It all seemed to flow so easily and draw you in from the word go.

What didn’t I like?  I’m hard pressed to think of anything really.  I didn’t like that I knew there was going to be that twist at the end, but I was surprised I was wrong at what would happen.  Pleasantly surprised because I can usually foil a plot line by the first 15 min or so, so this was cool.  Not mindblowing Matrix revealing cool, but a nice solid, believable twist.

Adult ADD?

Hmm.  I’ve been working through some issues, at work, at home, and everywhere else.  The biggest problem that I’ve been seeing is finishing things.  I’m GREAT at getting things started, great at looking at new technologies.  But finishing things?  Yeah, not so good.

I’ve been doing some research for Aidan because he shows some signs, but we’d decided it’s mostly being 12, mixed with unorganized kid and some anxiety thrown in to make it taste interesting.

In doing all of that, I have seen some quizes and things to watch for and truthfully, I’m a little scared that I might be totally ADD.  A lot of the symptoms are familiar, especially the one where you’re really crappy at finishing things.  Gee, that’s sounds only a little familiar.  It’d be nice to be able to blame my scatterbrains on something, you know what I mean?

So what do you do?  Take a magic pill and everything will be fine and dandy?  I”m not a big fan of drugs, I only take levothryoxine because my thryoid doesn’t produce shit and I can’t get out of bed unless I do.  Truthfully, I’m a lot more informed, but also – It might be nice to be able to take something and be able to keep my train of thought going, ya know?  It might be nice to be able to have a plan and stick to it, instead of getting distracted by the next shiny technology, or the new programming language, or the new server.  I have enough to contend with without adding more stuff that is not very well thought out and mostly done on the spur of the moment.

Plus, I’m hoping to hire someone in the very near future, granted, it’s only an intern, but I’ll take anyone.  It’d be nice to be able to function as a manager and continue to get work done.

Anyway, it’s time to clean the house 🙂  Hope you all had a good holiday.

Marriage Manual: Honey is forever

When you have a child or three, remember the most important part about parenting.  At some point, they will leave.


Never let them divide you, if you do, you’re dead meat.  When they do leave, don’t get caught looking at your spouse and realize you are looking at a total stranger.  Your partner should be your best friend.  Your kids learn from observing.  If they observe a healthy relationship, they’ll have their own.  The worst thing you can do is put all your time into your kids and not into your marriage.

Marriage Manual: Will you get me….?

Doesn’t matter what it is.  If your wife asks you to go downstairs to get her tea, a cookie, a glass of milk or some sushi from Wegmans, get off your ass and do it.  The flipside of this rule is Honey can’t abuse it.  Yes, that means that if he is already in bed, you have to make it worth his while 😉

Marriage Manual: Daddy, will you read to me?

Even if they are 12 yrs old, if they look at you with that look – yes, you know it, don’t like – you MUST read to them.

I started reading to them at a young age and recently my 9 yr old daughter asked me to read to her again.  We’ve been doing it for about 7 months now, and my son is asking me to do it as well.  I told him that I would as long as I could read him my favorites from when I was young.  We’re reading “Apprentice Magician” by Ray Feist.  Gillian just discovered “Redwall” by Brian Jaques.