Ditched
Remember what that felt like? If you don’t, consider yourself lucky.
The kids were hanging out at the playground after school with two friends and one decided to go see if one of their other friends was around and said they’d come back. He lives about 2-3 blocks up from us. 20 minutes go by, and he didn’t come back. So friend #2 says that he’s going to go check on the first friend to see whats up. 20 more minutes go by so G & A decide that they’ll go see for themselves. (Why they didn’t all go initially, I didn’t understand until Aidan said that the first friend told them to wait there for him)
They get there and the first two are hanging out with a whole bunch of other kids, having decided that there were a lot more there, than back at our playground. Essentially not bothering to go back for A&G.
Dude, wtf? Having thought that especially the first but also the second would at least come back to get them, and then having it not happen, plain sucks. What do you say to your kids?
“I’m sorry you got ditched for other people” ?
“I’m sorry they didn’t give a rats ass that they left you totally alone at the playground having found other people to hang out with”?
It just sucks because I thought they were better friends with the two kids.
I remember growing up and having this happen a lot(even in college), where one friend would turn another against you and essentially the two would gang up on you. I got so fed up with it that once I figured it out and started seeing the signs of an imminent gang up, I’d just go hang out with other friends. Funny thing was when the original ones would come to find me. Hard to gang up on someone when they don’t stick around to be ganged up on.
Anyone else have this happen?
June 9th, 2009 at 1:01 pm
Dude, that sucks. But, are you sure it’s a ditching?
That is, I’ve seen kids, especially younger ones, just get totally distracted. They aren’t thinking of much beyond what’s immediately in front of them. So those kids wandered off, something else started up, and suddenly they forgot about all other stuff. Point is, was it intentional? Or just kids being mindless and well… kids and not thinking enough?
If you know the other kids well enough, then bring all the kids together and talk about it. Just turn it into a life lesson for all of them that ditching, intentional or not, isn’t cool. I’ve done that with kids my kids play with… that sometimes you gotta take them all aside and talk to them all about some greater lesson in being friends or whatever.
As for your own kiddos, it’ll help make them stronger and better people. They know how it sucks to be ditched, so you can bet they won’t do it themselves. Chalk it up to life and learning, and an opportunity to help your kids become better people.
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June 9th, 2009 at 10:44 pm
I hate that kind of thing. I know they’re just kids, but it’s never too early to learn some common courtesy. Rude kids often grow up to be rude adults.
On the other hand, my kids have definitely had their share of being the odd ones out and I’m happy to say that what goes around, comes around. If nothing else, it taught mine to be more compassionate because they knew firsthand what it felt like to be the one left out.
June 9th, 2009 at 10:47 pm
I remember it bigtime so when he started telling me about it, I went back to that awful time. Bleah, no fun.