Would you say that to my face?
Wow.
"Moron" "Libtard" "Bwahahahah you ignorant noob" "Dirty fuckin loser Red Sucks Fan"
in the span of two days, I've been called some names. Some for comments I made on a blog, some for a response to a political question, some for just being a Red Sox fan and saying that the Yankees have an amazingly talented team. Yeah, I also tagged on that I hate certain players like Nick Swisher and A-Fraud, but that's besides the point. I think most Yankee fans will agree with the A-Clod comment tho.
Why the attack? Why the senseless name calling and rudeness? Why is that all necessary?
Here's the real question. If we were sitting at a table, and not on opposite ends of the world connected by the internet, would you actually say that shit to my face? Would you call me a moron to my face? [Granted, I know there are several Yankee fans would would definitely say yes, but that's a Red Sox/Yankee fan thing 
]
Are we not allowed to disagree respectfully, or at least without name calling? I think that the underlying problem is something that my roommate at JMU covered in his Masters Degree. Not sure exactly the exact subject thesis, but it had to do with the Effect of Communication over Electronic Media. Granted, at the time, it was all text based chats and forums and *gasp* dialup Bulletin Boards, but still...
What is it going to cost me to insult the guy for not agreeing with me? If I'm a thousand miles away or around the corner, if I"m MrAnonymous on the forum, who's going to come after me? Even on places like facebook, it's similar. Sure, you know who's calling you a moron or a libtard, but if you friend them, will they friend you back? What's the worst you can do? Put up a Facebook status message with "Person X is closeminded and called me a fucktard, don't friend them, shun them, make them not exist". How much effect would that have? Unless you're someone with 10k friends, not much, and even then, why would anyone care?
The issue is with the internet, social media, and other forms of non face-to-face communication. First of all, it removes you from the social graces that you would normally adhere to if you were standing next to the person. If you don't have to worry about Mr. X punching you in the face, go ahead and call him an asshole. What's he gonna do? I think it also gives people an unrealistic outlet for some of their more caustic opinions. The thing I have noticed, and I'm not espousing keeping all of your caustic opinions to yourself, is that people are more ready to be rude, obnoxious, quick to judge, and downright mean in some cases and not care about the consequences because you can't touch them.
Do I really give a flying fuck about the people who insulted me? I did initially when it happened, but it truly made me think about the whole situation, so in a way, it's a good thing. But the main thing I'm trying to say is how is all of this - because you know you're all involved in some sort of social media- affecting (or effecting?) the way you deal with people? Is it making you more quick to put out your two cents not only in social media, but it personal social situations? For me, I'm glad for the opportunity to write it out because I can't argue well, getting tongue tied and my points all jumbled in my head. I write fairly okay, and usually after several rewrites get my opinion in a readable format, but I have to reword and rework things so it comes out the way I want it to come out. So in that sense, having a buffer between me and someone else is good because I can get the point across the way I want to.
The problem with that is I don't think people take enough time to really read what they're writing, nor do they think of how it will affect other people. Truthfully, I don't give a flying fuck about the guy who called me a loser because I put up a message about the Red Sox. The Moron and Libtard comments actually made me think about never posting anything political ever again because I come across as a coolaid drinking democrat.
I guess what I'm asking is, do you think that social media - facebook, myspace, forums, blogs - are good for communication, or do you think they're making people lose their social filters? And if the latter, is that a good or a bad thing?
oh, and since this is my blog - GO SAWKS!!!
September 30th, 2009 - 11:52
People are more lightly to insult you from behind a computert screen that face to face.
September 30th, 2009 - 12:01
LOL – right on , m@. I say, screw ‘em. They can talk all the shit they want, but as long as we’re being true to ourselves – it doesn’t really matter, does it?
And the truth is? No, they’d never say it to your face. Coz the ones talking shit online are hiding behind that online identity, too.
And we come back to one of my fave sayings: “FUCK IT.”
Right along with, is there any gawd damn chocolate in this house?! *wink*
.-= MammaDawg´s last blog ..A Waltz with Gil at the Vampire Ball =-.
September 30th, 2009 - 12:25
I am always amazed at how people seem to drop the social graces online as if they were on fire and they feared an dreadfully painful explosion. It is ironic in a way, because their use of instant gratification to bring their last thought into the “15 minutes of fame” realm has basically just caused them to self destruct.
Maybe there should be a waiting period for retraction of thoughts…or a mandatory waiting period (1 day) before responding to angry or inappropriate e-mails, if just for the ability to reflect alone?
.-= lisa´s last blog ..there is something about riding on a crisp fall day, on an oak lined street, with the wind… =-.
September 30th, 2009 - 12:40
Speaking as your old college roommate….
I do think that social media is good for communication. All communication throughout history has been affected by improvements in technology. From clay tablets to wall paintings to the printing press to pony express to mail and package delivery services, carrier pigeon… whatever. Twitter, Facebook, MMS/SMS, mobile phones, etc. are all just a continuing of that communication medium evolution. The thing is, it’s also required us to come up with “rules of engagement” to make those mediums work. These media are still new and we’re still figuring them out, and just when we figure one out another newer one crops up and the rules start to change a bit. I think we are starting to get things down, but it’s still going to take another generation before we’ve really got it. I already can see it in the young kids of today and how they work with stuff.
One key problem with a lot of social media is that it is written word no different than hand-writing a letter to mail, or writing a paper/book. However, we use social media in a conversational manner, as if we’re face-to-face with the person. The trouble is those two things don’t mesh very well. There are things about f2f conversations and there are things about written word, advantages and disadvantages and just realities of what that medium brings and supports (and doesn’t). Most people aren’t aware of them or it takes a lot of “getting burned” before they start to realize the issues.
Another thing to consider is, is the media causing us to behave this way? or are we this way anyway? Overall we’re becoming rather a rude and angry society due to many external factors, so is online rudeness caused by the social media, or is the social media just exposing us to more rude people than we’d see in a day if we were limited only to f2f interactions?
I do think there’s a degree of “big man behind the keyboard” syndrome involved here, but one thing to remember is that if the person can only be a big man hiding behind a keyboard well… what does that really tell you about the person in the first place? And then, how much you should value their opinion.
Don’t let it bother you.
.-= hsoi´s last blog ..Injuries suck =-.
September 30th, 2009 - 13:24
Yeah, I wasn’t letting it bug me for more than 5 min or so, but it occurred to me that it’s much bigger than the one or two aholes who are hiding behind their computers.
Thanks for stopping by and putting in your two cents:)
September 30th, 2009 - 13:59
You know me Matt, I’d probably say it to your face, but I’d do it with a wink in my eye. Assholes will always be assholes.
However, I reserve the right to give it to you when the Halos beat up on your Sawks…
.-= Mike´s last blog ..I’ve Been Busy… =-.
September 30th, 2009 - 14:52
A local newspaper here ran a big article by one of its forum writers who has a “forum” facebook page. She was friend requested by someone she didn’t know, but accepted it. At first, the guy was respectful, but then he kept pushing the envelope, until she finally had to delete him for his political bashings. She started to recognize his writing style and it turned out to be someone she knew in real life. Pretty unbelievable.
.-= Cocotte´s last blog ..America’s Best Idea =-.
October 1st, 2009 - 07:48
Thinking about what lisa wrote at the tail end of her comment, I found this on another blog:
http://climbingupblog.wordpress.com/2009/09/30/on-flaming/
Good advice methinks.
.-= hsoi´s last blog ..CCTV attack footage and analysis =-.
October 1st, 2009 - 23:20
Yo know I say anything to anybody! Thats just me though. I can’t stand people who hide behind any media.
October 2nd, 2009 - 09:10
Big Bro, but that’s the difference, and the point of my post – the answer for you is yes, you would say it equally to my face as you would online/in print. You are rare tho, it’s part of what I envy sometimes. These trolls are so brave when they have something to hide behind.
October 5th, 2009 - 08:03
Not only would I not say those things to someon’es face, I owuldn’t in a blog comment either. I really believe in keeping things civil in comments, even if I disagree. I mean, good grief, we’re can all be civilized adults about it can’t we? And making jabs under the cloak of anonymity is just cowardly.
.-= secret agent woman´s last blog ..3 Days, 3 Dates =-.
October 5th, 2009 - 11:10
Secret Agent Woman – that’s my point exactly. My brother says he would say anything to anyone, and I believe it, but I also know that it wouldn’t be crude, rude, or demeaning. Well, maybe a bit crude, depending on his mood