Day 72/365: I got off my….

well, you get the picture, trying to keep it clean 🙂

One of the things I use on an hourly basis for help in programming is Twitter.  I ask and answer questions all day long and it’s wonderfully helpful.  I tweeted something the other day about getting in shape without running a marathon day 1.  A friend of mine posted http://www.c25k.com/podcasts.htm back and said it was instrumental in getting him out there and keeping him going.

They’re podcasts dictated by a guy named Robert Ullrey – just  a NOCal guy getting off his …well, you know … and sharing his experience with the masses.

They….Are…EXCELLENT!  I have always had problems pushing myself, but when I’m with someone I feel like I have to go their pace, and I don’t know what mine is….  This is cool because you do a 5 minute warm up, then intervals of 60 second runs with 90 second brisk walks for about 20-25 minutes.  Just having him in my ear saying “Here comes your next run, ready?  GO!” and the music jumps up and a faster song comes on.

Me?  I’m part sloth, but when I do get into something, I tend to do pretty well.  I think this is the thing I’ve been looking for to get me moving.  It also didn’t hurt that it was BEAUTIFUL outside today.  Going out during lunch on Thursday, keep me honest!!!

Day 64:365 Deep breaths

I’ve had a day of running around today.  I sometimes wonder if I could invent a transport device that would allow my kids to go to all of their crap without me or Fae driving.  I’d probably save a lot on gas if I could invent something like that 🙂

okay, I’m blogging because I want to blog.

Today was a day of really deep breaths, I managed to wrap some of what was bugging me, and let go of some other stuff as well.  This week is going to be busy as hell so I’m glad my mind is a little clearer now.  I have a lot of studying to do this week because we’re going to being an implementation this week of some stuff I’m just scratching the surface on, plus I have been meaning to dig deeper on some of the things I know pretty well so I can know more pretty well.

Hope this finds everyone with some relative peace in their lives.  Deep breaths.

Day 62:365 missed me?

Wow, okay, so that plan didn’t work out as well as I would have liked.  A lot of things got in the way and I just didn’t feel the need or want to write about things.

It’s been pretty rough lately, and mostly for the reason that I keep complaining about – no outlet.  I keep complaining that I don’t exercise so physically I feel like garbage.  Today I realized I had been stuffing all of my feelings down and not really having any release or avenue to explode.  I had a mild freak out which luckily Fae was able to talk me down from.  I’ve never been prone to panic or anxiety, but lately, it’s been feeling like the glass is filling up slowly but surely.

I’ve been so busy and so stressed out in the last few weeks that I didn’t realize that things were that close to the top and whatever triggered it, something pushed me off the edge and I couldn’t breathe.

What a paralyzing feeling, not feeling like you have any control, or avenue of escape.  Small things build up until they seem like mountains.  I didn’t want to hit Fae with any of this, but I’m always about keeping things in and not sharing.  I called her when I couldn’t breathe and she talked to me until I got myself under control.  We talked for a little while and I gradually reasoned out what had been bothering me.  It’s work related, and I don’t want to go into it, but I realized that I’m really grateful for the people I work with and for, knowing they all had my back.  And that I am very lucky to be in the situation that I am in, being able to learn so much and also work from home so I get time with my family.

So do yourselves a favor.  Take a deep breath and a step back.  Look at what you have and can be grateful for.  I texted Fae afterwards, thanking her for saving me.  She sent back “You save me every day”.