June 30th, 2009 mattdaddy
Marriage Manual rule #239 – when your partner is having a shitty day, it doesn’t matter how shitty yours is, give them a hand or a hug, or some space to be alone, or smother them with cuddles, tea, and those biscotti that you get fresh from the farm stand on your way home from class on Sundays.
I think that in relationships, sometimes you get so lost in your own shit, that you don’t really examine what’s going on around you. Remember you are in a partnership that doesn’t run itself, it needs constant work and change and tweaks here and there to handle the bumps that life throws at us. Take care of the kids (if you have them) but remember that at some point, they’ll leave and you’ll still be there with your partner. Too many couples get to a point in their relationship where they turn around one day, look at their partner, and wonder “Who the fuck are you?”, at which point, there’s some serious trouble. Relationships are constant change and work and effort, but in the end how awesome is it to spoon at night, or have them get you a cup of tea, or just ask if you want anything when they’re going downstairs for a drink or a snack.
A lot of people don’t realize what they have until it’s too late, or are so blinded by their own need that they don’t see how the relationship is changing without them. A bit of upheaval is healthy I think, because it means that both of you still care and are willing to work. There should always be a balance, and the wherewithal to understand when it’s your turn to support, and when it’s your turn to lean on the other person.
Posted in Daily Entry, Marriage Manual | 10 Comments »
May 28th, 2009 mattdaddy
Even tho it might seem like it sometimes, your partner does NOT have ESP. Nor are they going to be able to pick up subtle and not so subtle hints. Be Honest. Just ASK!!!
Be reasonable and think about how it might affect(effect?) your partner, and weigh that against how important it is to you. If you want something, and you feel guilty about asking for it, not only should ask anyway, but make sure they know you feel guilty about it. Too many times we just keep things inside ‘knowing’ that they won’t agree – which leads to resentment and misunderstanding.
If you’re honest, and talk about it, you’ll usually get what you want, or based on circumstances, as close as possible 
I want to go to Aruba to go scuba diving, but we can’t afford it. We CAN however, afford a trip to Hershey Park
Posted in Marriage Manual | 4 Comments »
May 27th, 2009 mattdaddy
If you’re awake, whether it be because you’re working from home, or because you just can’t sleep anymore, let your honey sleep. AND KEEP THEM QUIET!!! Make them breakfast and pack their lunches if they’re going to school. And make sure you’re away so you put the peanut butter on the bread and not the fritos. Tho that’s not always a bad thing.
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May 19th, 2009 mattdaddy
When you have a child or three, remember the most important part about parenting. At some point, they will leave.
Never let them divide you, if you do, you’re dead meat. When they do leave, don’t get caught looking at your spouse and realize you are looking at a total stranger. Your partner should be your best friend. Your kids learn from observing. If they observe a healthy relationship, they’ll have their own. The worst thing you can do is put all your time into your kids and not into your marriage.
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May 17th, 2009 mattdaddy
Doesn’t matter what it is. If your wife asks you to go downstairs to get her tea, a cookie, a glass of milk or some sushi from Wegmans, get off your ass and do it. The flipside of this rule is Honey can’t abuse it. Yes, that means that if he is already in bed, you have to make it worth his while 
Posted in Marriage Manual | 6 Comments »
May 17th, 2009 mattdaddy
Even if they are 12 yrs old, if they look at you with that look – yes, you know it, don’t like – you MUST read to them.
I started reading to them at a young age and recently my 9 yr old daughter asked me to read to her again. We’ve been doing it for about 7 months now, and my son is asking me to do it as well. I told him that I would as long as I could read him my favorites from when I was young. We’re reading “Apprentice Magician” by Ray Feist. Gillian just discovered “Redwall” by Brian Jaques.
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May 17th, 2009 mattdaddy
When they ask you to play a game, whatever it is, you must play it. Even if it’s Clue DVD, and you remember who did it, where, at what time and with what. Fake it, and yes, you must help them win.
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December 28th, 2008 mattdaddy
Well, this has been an interesting week to say the least. Nice and short for work, didn’t work Friday, and I’m off Monday as well so that’s pretty coolio. Let me take it back a few days.
Woke up Wednesday and worked a half day, mostly moving stuff around on a server to try to get some other things in place. Annoyingly, it resisted all attempts to make me look like DA MAN, and made me look more like DA IDIOT instead. Ever work on something and you know it’s gonna be something so small and simple you’re going to smack yourself? Yeah, that’s what Mon, Tue, and Wed were like. It’s tough right now because my job is so many different things. ANYWAY….
Worked until about 1, when I decided enough was enough and I needed to help Fae get things in order to get ready to come to my folx on Long Island. Fae was asked to make two pecan pies and a batch of her candied yams. The pies went off without much of a hitch, and turned out delicious – but I get ahead of myself. We’re in the kitchen, Aidan and his friend and Gillian are upstairs, and Fae’s mixing up the yams with all the good stuff, and goes to drop the butter into the mixture. She had heated it up in a bowl in the microwave, and proceeded to let it drip into the side of the running mixer. Now, keep in mind – this is a not a small little machine so it was on high, hauling it’s blender bits around in a frenzy.
Problem is, the dish had some melted butter on the side. Yeah, it dropped in. And you can probably guess what happened next. The bowl rattled the mixing bowl off the track, slung orange goop everywhere and if that wasn’t bad enough, it SHOT the bowl back right at my wife’s eye. She was trying to get the bowl out, I’m trying to reach over her to shut the machineFromHell down, and WHAM! Thankfully, it cut into her eyebrow and not her eyeball. Nothing broke, strangely enough, and so she ended up with a nice little slice just below her eyebrow. So I help her sit down and put pressure on it, because it’s bleeding a LOT for such a small cut, and turn around to look at the kitchen.
If she hadn’t been so hurt, I would have been howling. There was orange crap EVERYwhere except the ceiling. And my poor wife is sitting on the floor, putting pressure on her eye, never realizing that she is covered in candied yams.
Posted in Daily Entry, Marriage Manual | 6 Comments »
September 10th, 2008 mattdaddy
You must, MUST, find time to make sure that you have time for yourself. If you do not have enough time to get your head screwed on straight, you will not be an equal partner.
If you have children, yes, you are indeed screwed. The trick to this is stealing 5 min here and there, taking nice long deep relaxing breaths in your car during your commute, and maybe staying up the extra 15 min to meditate.
here endeth the lesson.
Posted in Marriage Manual | 2 Comments »
September 10th, 2008 mattdaddy
No matter what, when you wake up and your spouse is still sleeping, you MUST find a way to make coffee without waking them up…AND…have it available for them when they are ready.
Yes, this is part psychic, but routines and habits form, so pay attention to them.
It’s the little shit like this, that greases the wheels.
Here endeth the lesson.
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