The alarm didnt go off!!
I look at the clock, and it says 7:45. Cool, I don't have to wake up for work for another 20 min:)
Oh wait, its Saturday, I don't have to wake up early.
Oh crap, Gillian needs to be at her game in 15 minutes!!!
Wow man, I haven't gotten her up and out that quickly in ages. We had to be at the field at 8 for a little extra practice, get here at 10 after...
No coach. Well, at least we're on time for the game:)
Kids stuff – Diving
The kids have been doing really well in diving class, thought I'd post some stuff I took on my blackberry. Man I need a better camera 
Aidan does backdive from Matt Cushing on Vimeo.
She Jumps…and Jumps…
Gillian at the pool on a beautiful Monday afternoon
Daddy, Watch This! from Matt Cushing on Vimeo.
Doing stuff with em
How many of us will look back at our kids childhoods and say, "I did enough with them."
I'm not the worlds greatest dad, tho I am constantly striving to be I was taking Aikido and it was fun, but it just didn't feel right. We were trying at the time to figure out a way for us to go to my Dad's 70th bday, but the kids had a cheering competition that weekend. We decided the kids had had enough - they weren't enjoying it, and it was becoming a chore. The problem is, in competitive cheering, pulling out midseason is a serious no-no. You know what? Tough.
So Aidan wanted to take martial arts classes, but he's very non confrontational and loves swords, so I found a kendo class. Problem is, I can't afford to do Aikido and Kendo for both of us, so I decided it was more important to do this with my son than to just drive him and continue Aikido. Plus it appealed to me, and Aikido wasn't doing it for me anymore.
SO glad I decided to go for it. Aidan and I have been working hard and improving quickly. So much that Gillian is now taking the class with us. Hearing her high-pitched "MEN" over all of the adults is so cool (MEN is the japanese word for Head. You yell out the strike as you do it to get points. Kote (ko TEH) and Do (doh) are wrist and body)
I get 2 hours of daddy/kid time and we talk about it on the way in and the way back. They're really liking it, and I am grateful that I have something to do with them not only in class, but at other times too.
Find something you can share with them, even if it's just a regular game of monopoly. I'm lucky that they seem to like what I do
A season of giving
So here we are, rushing out to the stores to buy load of new crap that our kids don't really need, and at least 1/3 of which will sit on the shelf unplayed with, or maybe once. I understand the notion that it's almost like a reward for a year of being good, and sharing among adults to show how you feel about them and all that nostalgic bullshit.
Can you tell this season drives me a little nuts? It's not about the religious part of all the holidays for most of the people out there, it's about giving Little Tommy and Little Susie more than they need or could possibly want because they want it and as their parents, you have to give it to them.
Here's my idea for taking back the holiday and making it about giving. Plus, as an added bonus, you'll teach your kids a cool lesson.
Find a box - come on, you just assembled 100 pieces of crap that's going to break xmas day or the day after, you know you have one. Make it a substantial box if you can. Now, get out the markers, crayons, paper, glue, and scissors. Tell the kids that they are going to decorate the box for the season - snowflakes, menorahs, trees, other holiday crap like that - and write in big letters on the sides - "The Giving Box". That'll keep them busy, encourage them to make it as colorful and elaborate as possible.
Now, here comes the cool part. Have the kids take the box (and if you have more than one kid, you can do more than one box), and put it in the middle of their room. Their next job, is to FILL IT with stuff they haven't played with in a long time, or stuff they don't want. See if they can bring it all the way up to the top of the box, so you can tape it shut.
Now, find a charity/orphanage/church/streetcorner in your neighborhood where you know you'll be able to give all of these toys that have been sitting around to a child who isn't going to get anything this holiday season. Let your kids cast offs become a light in a kids day who isn't expecting anything.
The giving is not from you, it's from your kids, so try to figure out a way for them to carry it in, or give it to someone, or come up with who they will give it to. Leave it somewhere you know it'll be appreciated.
There are benefits to this whole thing too - the kids have less crap, their rooms are cleaner, and they make room for all of the stuff they're about to get in a few days. This is a great weekend to do it, so go for it. Don't wait for spring cleaning to toss this stuff. Give the kids the real reason for "The season of giving".
we’re on the road to nowhere…
My daughters 3rd grade fieldtrip to a museum? Sure, ill chaperone:)
Got to the school this morning and piled onto the bus. Wow, I forgot how loud 22 3rd graders can be. Thankfully I got to sit up front. Cool museum with a good native american exhibit(which is what they are studying) so I did learn some neat things.
Problem is, we're on the bus, and the kids are louder than on the way here, and we've been driving around lost for 20 min. I finally moved up front, told her where to go, and now we're finally on our way back.
Now all I need to do is:
A) not kill the little monster kicking my seat.
B) not scream at the whiny little girl in front of me
C) not die of starvation
It's a good thing I love my daughter....
Cooperstown
Last year, right after the Red Sox had won the World Series, I was lucky enough to go to the Baseball Hall of Fame. My best friend and I went and came home to two very upset kids, our sons. So a few months ago, A asked me if I wanted to go back again, this time with the boys.
Duh?!
Leaving tomorrow am with Aidan to go pick up A's son D, going up to Albany, picking A up at the airport, and driving out to Cooperstown. We're gonna spend a few hours walking around town, maybe pick up some souvenirs, grab a bite to eat while talking about baseball the whole time, and then head back to the hotel and let the boys swim for a while before crashing. We're going to go over to the Hall first thing Sunday and spend the day, be back Sunday evening sometime. Gotta love a chance to hang out with your buddy, your kid, and talk baseball for two days
How to be a better Dad, by M@
Not that I follow all of my own advice, but still, here's what I have picked up so far, and I hope that it'll help those of you who are doing the NewDaddyBlogs rather than people like me - I guess I qualify as SoonToBeDrivenInsaneByTweenDaddyBlog?
They are so cute right now. Wait until they start talking. You want them to stand, walk, and talk so badly you can taste it. Then you spend the rest of their lives(that they live with you) getting them to sit down and shut up
Do I do that? No, but I like passing on that nugget of wisdom, it makes me crack up. Ugh, ever type with a finger that you've cut the nail too close or you rip part of it off right now? I'm dying right now, but I feel it necessary to pass along this info to you. I'll clean the blood off my keys later 
So what's it like being the father of an 11 yr old and an 9 yr old? Wow, where do I begin. He doesn't like being alone. She talks and sings in class and gets in trouble for it (sort of). He's weird like me. She's independent like my wife. They yell "Daddy!!" when I come in the door and run to give me a hug. They are friends. I'm freaking because I know they are going to start, very soon, thinking the opposite sex is neat instead of icky. I think it'll be her sooner than him
It's frustrating, it's nerve wracking, it's cool as hell and wonderful all at the same time. You have to make decisions and actually consider their feelings and recently, allow them to have their say. You have to try to guide them without making it seem like you're telling them what to do. You have to be their friend as well as be their parent, and sometimes the latter really sucks!
So here's my advice. My number one thing that you MUST MUST MUST do to be a successful parent.
You have to present a united front with your spouse/partner because if you don't, they'll see it, and figure it out quickly. I don't always agree with something my wife does, but I will always support her and then maybe talk to her about it later. There have been times, however, that we haven't pow-wowed beforehand and she or I will call each other on it.
One of the things I remember growing up was that my parents could do no wrong, they didn't make mistakes, they were always right. One of the most important things we are trying to get across to our kids is the fact that we are human. Fae and I both had serious problems with drugs and alcohol when we were young, so much so that we don't drink or smoke to this day. I think her addiction was probably worse than mine, but it's something we decided together. We also decided to explain to the kids that Mommy and Daddy did this when they were young, and this is what happened. Mommy has problems with her nose because of everything she put up it, and Daddy took 11 years to finish college because for a large portion of that, he was too busy smoking pot and goofing off.
We believe that by providing examples of what happens, that we can hopefully cut off the addictive personalities they can inherit from both of us later in life. We also hope that they can see that people do make mistakes and that we are EXTREMELY LUCKY to not only have found one another, but to have succeeded as much as we have.
I remember learning about drugs and alcohol in high school - Oh I'm never going to do that! NO WAY! I was adamant. 2 years later, I'm failing out of the same college for the second time because I was smoking way too much pot and barely studying or going to class.
What's the main lesson from all of this rambling - be honest with your kids. Be the friend when you can, and be the Parent when you need to be. Follow through with things you say, or don't say them.
Anyway, hope this helps. Solidified all that rambling in my own head
Comradery, brothers in arms, emotional relationships
I've always been a fan of war movies, whether it was the Bridge Over the River Quai type battlefield movies, or current movies like King Arthur(the one with Clive Owen), or TV series like Band of Brothers.
There exists, a feeling, a common emotion, a 'something' that bands people together in situations like this. It's a shared experience, and almost psychic connection between people that transends words and thought, and reaches the spirit on a level that can't be described. I've read many books and seen lots of shows and movies where this spirit is present. The Seven Samurai, a movie about 7 men who decide to defend a village from raiders - they come to know one another, see each others strengths and weaknesses, and form a cohesive unit, a bond that is strong enough that they can know that the man next to them will do whatever it takes to do his part, to ensure the success of whatever they do, or die in the attempt.
Is it the adrenaline? Is it a respect for one another? I felt some of the same unexplainable thing in my Tae Kwon Do studio with a group of people that I trained with, and later had the privilege of teaching. There was always something there, something that made us push one another, to egg on or goad or embarrass each other to accomplish more and more each time. My biggest success as an instructor was understanding that in situations like this, you bring out the best in people, by displaying the best in yourself. It doesn't necessarily make you the leader, or the best, or the one in charge. People are inspired by seeing people put their money where their mouth is, by setting the standard high and aspiring to achieve the goals and aspirations they have set for themselves. And in doing so, inspiring others to do the same. I think the mark of a true leader is one who is not necessarily trying to lead, but exhibits true leadership in his actions alone.
I think we do that for our children to an extent. I know that my son listens to every word, and sees everything I do as something he should do, or try to do. This isn't pompous of me, it's reality. Sons look to fathers to emulate and to imitate. I have the good fortune to not only have a boy who understands my weirdness, but who wants to be like me, and looks up to me. On the flip side, I know that my daughter loves me to the end of the earth, but is learning different things from me. She's much more independent and sees my behavior and actions and makes her own decision as to what she's going to do.
It's that unspoken bond, that communication between compatriots that I aspire to share with my children and teach them to try as well. Each group in the movies and tv that I've spoken of is lead by a true and noble leader, who puts his men's wellbeing before his own. Its the love towards that person because of this intention that is a beautiful thing whether it's a Major and his platoon, a Seargeant and his squad, or a father and his children.
My kids – Buddy & Peanut
How do I love thee, let me count the ways:
- I love that you both come running to the door when I get home from work.
- I love that you want me to read you a chapter from your books before you go to bed.
- I love it that you still like to hug and kiss me goodnight.
- I love the fact that even tho I grumble about it, you still want me to make you pancakes every saturday morning.
- I love the fact that you are still small enough Gillian to walk on my back without crushing my ribs.
- I love the fact that you are improving and persevering in Kendo by leaps and bounds even tho there are a lot of times I know you want to give up.
- I love the fact that you still think I'm cool enough to play with, and that you even let me win sometimes too.
- I love how much Aidan loves D&D and how much Gillian pretends to just to hang out with us.
- I love playing video games and watching musicals with both of you.
- I love you both, even when you've mad bad decisions or just totally spaced out and forgotten what I've said 2 minutes ago.
I love you both so much that I could go on and on until my fingers hurt from typing so much. Thank you for choosing me to be your Daddy.
Oh yeah, and most of all:
- I love that you still both call me Daddy.
I love you,
Daddy