Day 7/365
I came across a great post by my cousin K on Facebook today and it was the YouTube video "Dear 16 yr old me". I didn't realize it was about skin cancer.
You can hardly see the scar, but it's about the length of the box. I was lucky, I had the "Good Cancer" - basal cell carcinoma. After being diagnosed by my dermatologist, I went to a surgeon to have it removed using Mohs procedure, where they slice away layers until it's gone. My problem was that instead of the mole around the size of a dime, it was an iceberg that stretched across both collarbones.
Oh yeah, this was done 2 days after my daughter was born. Nice eh? And the day before we signed papers to move into our house. Awesome.
Anyway, enough about that. I am a cancer survivor, even if it was a fairly small procedure and didn't require chemo or anything extensive. I'm not comparing myself to anyone else, especially anyone who's been through melanoma or has a loved one who has been through it.
I caught it early. The mole I had always had started changing shape and instead of brown, it was turning gray and got shiny. My wife had been bugging me to get it checked, and when it started getting shiny, I decided enough was enough and went.
Why did this happen? My doctor called it a golf spot because it was right where golf shirts don't cover. I always said I'd wear sunscreen, but I really never did unless someone nagged me about it. I wish I had worn more. Again, I was lucky, but I would rather have not had to go through that.
The point of my post? WEAR SUNSCREEN!!!!!! It's worth it, and it's not that big of a deal to put on. Also -
Check yourself regularly. And watch this video.
Somebody give me a shot!
Had to look around for the song, but it's a Van Halen tune.
I have been getting allergy shots for about a month now, cats, dustmites, mold, & tree pollen. The dustmites are by far the worst. So I went yesterday for my shot, bringing my wife and daughter who get them as well, and my son and his friend. I get the shot, they put ice on my arms to stop the swelling, and had a seat. 10 min later, I started getting hot, my skin started turning alarmingly red, and I got my wife's attention. The nurse, who was standing next to her, hauls me out of the chair and into one of the backrooms. They get me on the table sitting up, and a minute later I say "I'm going to pass out"
And so I did. Luckily, I was on an examining table and the nurse caught me so I didn't roll off the bed. Pretty strong little girl, I'm 230, and she's maybe 100.
They told me I was out for all of 5 seconds. I swear it was like two hours, had such vivid dreams/vision of a meeting in my old office with three guys I work with going over a project we completed like 6 months ago. Very vivid and detailed. Next thing I know, I look up and see people leaning over me asking me if I'm okay.
I think that might have been the weirdest point. So they pump me full of benedryl, and make me wait 30 minutes and I'm feeling okay, so I go home. I get in bed, I fall asleep, tired, but feeling okay.
Woke up and felt like someone was standing on my chest, every deep breath made it worse. My ears felt swollen and I was having trouble getting a deep breath. Throat was fine, chest was not. Every deep breath made my chest feel tighter. Wondered why the Jolly Green Giant decided to stand on my chest, but it got to the point where I was getting scared, so I looked at Fae, who was on the phone telling my aunt that I was okay, and she said, I'll call you back, I need to take Matt to the hospital.
She called 911, a cop showed up like 2 minutes later, gave me oxygen. At this point, my skin was starting to get that purple feeling again and the Jolly Green Giant was now jumping up and down on my chest. The oxygen helped a little I think because he seemed to take longer between jumps, but I felt better when I realized the EMT's were there. At this point, I'm burning up, my eyes and ears had practically swollen shut, and I have an EMT asking me loud questions that are hurting my head. I tell her what she wants to know (mostly to shut her the hell up) and the head EMT moves in.
Calm, nice, and the coolest hands on the planet. At least they felt that way to my burning skin. She's asking me how I'm feeling, if this hurts, if this is okay in a nice soft, calm voice and I realize how amazing these people are. As she's taking charge and giving me a different mask to wear instead of the tube with the things that go up your nose, I start shivering. Uncontrollably. I thought I was having a seizure or convulsions, but nice EMT lady assures me it's just my body reacting to the shot. It's bad man. I"m not falling off the bed, but it's moving my arms and legs and making it hard to get a good breath, thank goodness for the oxygen.
They got me into a chair, and now I'm sweating profusely, and manage to get me down all of my flights of stairs. Oh yeah, did I mention that I'm in my boxerbriefs and that's it? Yeah, thankfully they wrapped me up in a sheet to take me outside where it's nice and cool finally. They gave me more epinephrine on the way, and some benedryl for good measure as well as something to help with nausea which I didn't really need.
Rest of it is boring, just sat around in the ER for a couple of hours making sure I didn't have another reaction and they let me go home around 1:30. Thank god for neighbors and friends because Fae sent them down to wait for the ambulance, my neighbor snatched them away from the whole fiasco before they had a chance to see me doing the funky chicken in the bed.
When you get that envelope in the mail, asking you to donate to your local EMT or Fire Department? Please do me a favor and drop in a couple of bucks for me. I don't think I was in any serious danger, but the peace of mind they gave me was more cure than anything they stuck in my arm. Or my leg, holy crap, whatever it was still aches like a mofo!
Not something I'd care to repeat thank you very much. Not one little freakin bit. I'm just relaxing today and taking it easy. Going to work tomorrow like I normally do, just be in bed with my laptop tho instead of downstairs at my regular machine.
Marching Band – it begins
Update: I'm a big dork and didn't read the guidelines - we're not supposed to post any of the video.
Aidan joined Marching band this year (at my urging) and is doing really REALLY well not only musically, but also socially. Remember your first day of High School? He started with 142 new friends, and a lot of them pretty senior girls 
This is taken on my blackberry after two weeks of practice. I still don't understand how they learned it all that fast, and how they didn't kill one another doing some of this stuff.
First piece:
Second & Third pieces:
Vacation time! Day 1 & 2
So what did I do with my first day of vacation? I drove about 8-9 hours, yay!
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Now I'm sitting doing laundry while my kids swim in the lake. Doesn't seem like fun, but to tell the truth, I couldn't be more relaxed. I spent about 3 weeks cramming in as much work and projects and got 99% of it done so I'm very happy and very calm right now. Last year I had some big deadlines to get back to, so it was a little hectic. This year, nada.
Fae is still home because she's working this weekend and Monday with her Dad, so I took Aidan with me to go get Gillian at Celiac Camp in Rhode Island, and from there we drove up to a campsite about 8 miles north of where we are now. Put up the tent for the night, went and got an ice cream nearby and promptly crashed.
Dude, it gets cold up here at night Good thing there were three of us!
The Silver Bay YMCA is kind of like the Dirty Dancing place - lots of things to do, people to hang out with, things like that. My Mom used to come up nearby as a kid and wanted to start a tradition for the family, so here we are in Year 2 of the Cushing/Kingsley family retreat.
The kids love it because they can swim, kayak, hike, shoot hoops, rock climb, and their favorite - archery. There's a really big archery range at the other end of the complex. We stay in two cabins, and it's comfy.
So, this is the beginning of my vacation journal. Day 1 wasn't super eventful because it was all driving Day 2 is looking to be really nice. Supposed to rain tomorrow and maybe Monday, but it said that last year and it got cloudy for a few hours and that's about it.
Fresh-Aid fund
If you get a chance, take a look. I didn't even realize they still did this:)
Gillian blows me away again
Gillian sings Rent:
Gillian sings the Star Spangled Banner in front of the whole school:
Who is this woman, and why is she still living in my house?
This is my Fae. She's mine and no one else can have her. Well, if you're nice she'll be your friend, BUT THAT'S IT!
Here are 21 amazing things about her since April 9th is her 21st birthday. (I said I would never lie to YOU, honey)
- She gets me, and I'm pretty low key and easy to get along with, but not everyone 'gets' me.
- She's passionate.
- She's intelligent.
- She's smart (yes, there's a difference).
- She's constantly trying to improve herself, every single day.
- She's helped me become the man I am, the friend I am, and the father I am.
- She makes my toes curl when she sings, doesn't matter what it is.
- She learns from everything she does and things around her.
- She likes having opinions, and enjoys banter back and forth of opposing ones.
- She lights a fire under my ass constantly.
- She helps me to know what I need more than what I want.
- She taught me to stand up when I have an opinion and not back down from fear of confrontation.
- She likes my piercings. 5. (All in my ears you sick people)
- She is constantly striving to grow and change.
- She talks to our kids; teaching, explaining, joking and when they need it, being their parent.
- She has the most beautiful eyes that I constantly find myself getting lost in.
- She likes to cuddle.
- She could sell a drowning man a drink of water.
- She has cool tattoos (ankle, shoulder, lower back)
- She has faults, and quirks, and lots of baggage, but I wouldn't trade her for anyone. No, not anyone.
- She's my girl.
I love you babe, always have, always will.
Love,
Your Matthew
Matt fell down and went BOOM
(this all happened in 2007, don't worry. I'm finding that with the end of the case, I need to get it all out, and thankfully a friend reminded me that everything on the web is admissible, so I will keep this to just what I was thinking at the time and not name names. Just my attempt to put something to rest)
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"What the Fuck?" I wondered, seeing the truck barreling down the on ramp and straight through the right lane of traffic. In the 3 seconds it took for me to realize that not only was he not going to stop for the people he had just completely cut off, but that he was already partially into the center lane that I was in. Yeah, once it sunk in, I realized I had about 1 second and about 100 feet to do something.
I was doing about 50 at the time, my reaction was a lot faster than my brain processed it. By the time he was most of the way into the center lane, I had already flashed a look in my left side mirror and jerked the wheel enough to send me into the left lane. Thankfully, there was no one there. The problem was, I was in a Honda Fit and he was in a 26 ft delivery truck. Why is that a problem? Well, because I was already in the left lane by that time, and I didn't have anywhere else to go.
BAM!
"SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT" I screamed as I felt his left front tire connect with my right passenger door. The impact was accompanied by a scream of metal twisting and the roar of my tires going in directions they weren't meant to go. The car swung around from the impact, sending me spinning 180 degrees, now facing traffic.
CRASH!
I felt the right side of the car shudder as it stopped suddenly and rebounded off of something else
"What the fu...." I wondered in my head before I felt the world drop away and imagined myself free falling, feeling glass shatter and fly everywhere. Up was down, left was right. I locked my elbows and held on for dear life. As I tumbled and crashed, the view through my now spiderwebbed windshield like that of a top, or more like one of those kaleidescope where the shapes change as you turn it, flying every which way. I got smacked hard in the face by the side curtain airbag as it exploded open, saving my head from serious injury as I held on screaming at the top of my lungs for dear life. I remember a burning sensation across my chest and neck at one point, praying that I hadn't been cut by the flying glass, but in truth, I didn't give that more than a moments notice, I was too busy praying for it to stop.
The crashing and scraping were deafening, only drowned out in my head by the screams I heard from further away. I didn't realize it was me because it truly sounded like it was coming from outside the car. The only other thought besides wanting it to stop was the dread I felt imagining something flying in or breaking off and stabbing me. A windshield wiper, a twist of metal, the gear shift for chrissakes.
It felt like...it felt like that ride you get on and you realize from the first second you lower the bar to lock you in, that you do NOT want to be on the ride. Multiply that by 1000 and you still aren't even close to the horror, terror, desperation, and pure unadulterated fear that I felt in less than a minute.
Yup, I managed to get hit, spin my car 180 degrees, and ROLL my car three times. All in the span of about one minute. Let me tell you, from inside the car? Didn't feel like a minute. It felt like an hour.
CRUNCH!
The car stopped moving. Arms still locked. Looking wildly around it took me another minute to realize I had stopped. Right side up. Whew. Wait, why am I all wet. Oh jesus, is this blood? Oh, no, it's coffee. Dunkin Donuts doesn't mix well with fear. Moved all of my extremities, okay, I can still move and I'm still relatively okay. Open the door. Nope, can't open the door. Oh, maybe I should unlock it. Go to get up, can't move. OH GOD. Oh, unlock the seatbelt and get out.
I stumbled from the car seeing people running towards me.
"YOU INCONSIDERATE FUCK, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? THERE'S A STOP SIGN OVER THERE YOU ASSHAT!" came tumbling out of my mouth. I started across the street and this very tall man held me back saying, "Are you okay? You just rolled your car three times!"
"Rolled it? What?" and then the motions I just went through made sense.
"You should sit down my friend" he said emphatically. I noticed his accent was African and he was about a foot taller than I was (and I'm 6'2"), and the fact that I had walked out of the car that had just done what it had done hit me and I got light headed and let myself be led to the curb where I did sit down. To their credit, I think the police showed up about 2 minutes later.
About 250 yards away down the street was my daughters car seat. Talk about bringing it into perspective. He got a ticket for unsafe lane change. I got lucky. REALLY lucky.
