Naked Men on the hill

No, I was not happy about it either.

I’m lying on the couch yesterday, reading a book, the kids are upstairs watching TV, when I hear my daughter yell, “Dad, there’s a naked guy out on the hill!”  There is a hill behind our house that kids sled on, so I looked out the window, saw some kids, one of which had a tan overall on, so I figured it was just her catching it wrong.

“He’s not naked honey, he’s just wearing brown pants.”

And that was the end of it, so I thought.

They go out to sled an hour or so later, and go to get their friends first.  I am in the kitchen and can see them coming down the path towards the hill.  I see some activity on the hill, so I looked.

And there, standing BUCK Naked except for his shoes is a kid and a sled.  I think he was maybe 14, and totally butt ass naked.  He was indian, hence the dark skin my daughter saw.  It was NOT the kid in the tan coverall, he was standing next to him, laughing his ass off.

Rage.  Pure and simple.  I’m a very non-confrontational man, and in hindsight, I should have just brought my kids inside with their friends and called the police.  I didn’t think, I just stormed out in a pair of sweats, a tshirt, and my boots.

“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!?” I screamed at the top of my lungs standing on the hill.  He’s down at the bottom laughing with his friends.  Needless to say, he stopped laughing.  He didn’t answer tho.

“Are you fucking KIDDING ME?” I screamed at him and his friends.  “What the hell are you thinking?”

“No one was around, no one could see.” he said meekly.

“REALLY?” I shouted.  (You have to realize, I don’t shout).  “I can see you from my Fucking WINDOW!  Get the hell out of here, all of you before I call the police”

“Don’t punish my friends for something I did sir.” he said, again, meekly.

“You, shut up.  You” I said, wheeling on his friend.  “Do you think it’s legal to be standing outside naked?  Do you think it was okay for him to be doing this?”  He just dropped his eyes and shook his head.

“All of you, get the hell out of here before I do something you’ll regret that will make me feel a lot better.”

They ran needless to say.  And Conan the Barbarian stood on the hill top, beating his chest, feeling very manly.

Now….WTF?  The only thing I can think of is it was a dare gone bad, but if you think about it, he did it more than once obviously.  Would you have done anything like this?  On a bright sunny day, with condo’s all around with big windows?

Dude, I hate to say it, but WTF is with kids today???

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