June 30th, 2010 mattdaddy
(yes, I’m still typing one handed)
How many of you have had surgery where you are put under? Anyone have thoughts/fantasies that you would wake up? That you’d suffer some weird aneurysm and just die and leave everyone to keep living?
Yeah, I know, irrational. Until my Dr. came in, I was super nervous. He showed up and it was gone. I mean nothing, no nervousness, nothing. The even cooler thing was when I thought about the anesthesiologist, I thought it’d be cool to have the guy who put me under for my colonoscopy, and two seconds later, he walks up.
Talk about feeling like I was in good hands:)
The prep room was the weirdest for me b/c I’m usually the one to be making Fae feel better or more secure and here I was, the one who needed reassuring. She was good, cracking me up when I needed it, and just holding my hand when I needed that.
All in all it was fine, and everything worked out. The doc even called me before dinner to check on me:)
In a bit of pain now, so gonna watch a movie for a while.
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June 30th, 2010 mattdaddy
woke up this morning after 8 solid hours of sleep to serious discomfort in my arm. couldnt wait toeat so I could take a percocet. tho in truth, they dont do a whole lot.
feeling okay at this point since I took it a while ago, going to watch band of brothers today, the whole thing:)
I have been under for two things but don’t think Ive ever had a breathing tube. My throat HURTS!
btw – this is all one handed, so excuse the no caps and crappy punctuation. thank goodness for spellck:)
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June 29th, 2010 mattdaddy
Sitting in bed, percocet taken, typing one handed:) Surgery went well, just have to heal now:)
thanks for all the well wishes.
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June 28th, 2010 mattdaddy
On May 31st, 2007, an inconsiderate prick hit my car with a delivery truck causing me to flip three times. Not spin, flip. Since then, I’ve been feeling vulnerable, old, achy, and in slowly increasing amounts – in pain. My elbow is killing me right now, maybe in response to what’s up for tomorrow, or because it’s been about 3 months since my last cortisone shot. Whatever the reason, I’m hurting, I’m scared, and I just want it to all go away.
I’m tired of favoring it, or not doing certain things knowing they’re going to hurt. I”m tired of feeling vulnerable and not vital. Feeling feeble and not powerful. Have I used it all as an excuse at times to not work out – you fuggin betcha. I’m good at using excuses. Am I going to turn my life around tomorrow and make that the first day in the rest of my life? No, probably not.
I’ll tell you what is going to happen. It’s going to hurt when I’m done. I’m going to come out of the operating room and I’m going to be pinioned by a restrictive sling, I’m going to take pain killers, and I”m going to hurt. People keep saying that the first day will be uncomfortable and it’ll get progressively better, but I don’t believe it. Not emotionally. Logically, I know everything will be fine, that I’m doing the right thing, and that things will all work out. Emotionally, I’m a 8 yr old, wanting to grab my Curious George and run into my closet and lock the door. Having a flashlight of course. I don’t want it to hurt. Why do I have to go through this? The accident wasn’t my fault. I always try to see the positive things in situations. What’s positive about this? AND to top it all off, I have to wait till NOON to even show up at the hospital, and I have to stop eating at midnight.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! This sucks sports fans.
Okay, the 8 yr old went to bed because he was a crank pot. Whew. Sometimes when things are bugging me and I don’t know what it is, writing helps. Well shit, that sucks. I”m going to have to write one handed. Ugh, the 8 yr old just woke up and wants a glass of milk.
I’m going to go watch a movie and eat a bowl of cheerios and hold my wife’s hand. 
ps – if you have no idea what I’m talking about, I’m having surgery on my elbow to repair some torn stuff around the bone. I”m not psyched, obviously.
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June 26th, 2010 mattdaddy
Lets see….
Went to New Orleans for a geek conference for a week, with just my wife…and of course I was sick for most of it. Nice
Went to Great Wolf Lodge with Fae and the kids, Gillian’s troop has a trip at the end of the year and this was it. Aidan and I had to carry the bags and stuff like that…yeah, totally It was a lot of fun and the kids enjoyed it too 
We were on our way back when Aidan’s phone rang, it was his girlfriend (yes, he’s 13 and they’ve been dating a year), inviting us to game night at her house the next day. Sounded like fun. So we went over last night and not only was it a lot of fun, but they went out and got everything gluten free so Gillian could snack on everything. How cool is that? It’s amazing how thoughtful people can bed.
To top it all off, I’m having surgery on Tuesday. Yay! Not. I was in an accident in 2007 and because of it, there was some damage to my shoulder and elbow. They’re going in and removing the damaged tissue. Hoping to be in a sling for a week or so and from what the doc says, back to fairly normal in around 6 weeks. Not being able to do any kind of contact exercise has been driving me nuts, so being able to get back to it will hopefully allow me to feel better physically and emotionally
Wish me luck.
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June 14th, 2010 mattdaddy
Man this sucks. It’s 4am and I can’t sleep. Can’t take a tylenol PM, I have to wake up in 2 hours. Tried going back to sleep but can’t get back and I don’t want to keep Fae up with me rolling around either.
What do y’all do when you can’t sleep?
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June 12th, 2010 mattdaddy
I’m not one to plotz when I see someone famous, and it’s a good thing because I saw two of them this week
I was going thru security at Newark airport on sunday and I saw Patricia Clarkson standing in the other line. One of my favorite roles is when she was in the Station Agent. The other star spotting was Anderson Cooper from CNN, walking down Royal St in New Orleans, right in front of my hotel That is one SKINNY dude!
Okay, for those of you that came for the title, yer done, you don’t have to keep reading.
<geek alert>
We touched down on Sunday after a tearful goodbye with the kids and a bumpy ass flight. Yowza, no fun. Getting the car and our stuff proved fairly painless and we got to our hotel mid-afternoon on Sunday. Wanted to get some of the local flavor and we were both hungry, so we stopped at Cafe Beignet on Royal St. There are three in the French Quarter with the same name, but this was a small little coffee and pastry shop.
Have you ever had a beignet? Dude. If you only go to Nawlins for one reason, let it be the beignets – fried dough with powdered sugar, yum yum yum. Ever get fried dough at a carnival? Same idea, but MUCH better. Stayed put for a while drinking cafe au lait and talking about what to do and how much we missed the kids.
To go on record, cafe au laits suck, dude. I guess I’m used to bold coffee or something, but this stuff was weak.
We went to a mexican place that was highly rated called El Gato Negro. Was down past anywhere I wanted to be after dark, but decent food. Nothing that floored me, tho I had pork and andouille sausage fajitas which were good. As we sat there, I saw a bag of water hanging over the front door, looked like it had practical joke written all over it. Turns out it’s a Mayan thing that is supposed to keep the flies away.
Monday I had the conference and learned quite a bit that I won’t bore you with since I know you’re only interested in what Fae was doing While I was listening to geeky stuff, she was walking around the city and coming close to passing out! YAY….oh wait, that sucks. Boooo! Heat index was up around 105 or so. She stopped at a place called the Palace Cafe and they were wonderful about letting her sit in the AC and got her water. She didn’t realize it at the time, but the guy making sure she was okay was the owner of that place and two others, Dicky Brennan. We ended up going back there for dinner where I had my first taste of crawfish in about 10 years. Still tastes awesome.
Tuesday, Fae decided to go out of town and see some of the plantations she had read about, Oak Alley and Laura. I didn’t know that Oak Alley was where the filmed Interview with a Vampire, cool Very interesting thing to note that although they are on the same road, Oak Alley is painted white with it’s columns and huge lawns and rows of trees, while Laura is smaller, lot more buildings, and the main house is yellow. Back then, as I understand from Fae, painting it whit e and using column architecture denotes white owners, while the yellow buildings denote Creole.
Here’s your lesson for the day: according to multiple people we talked to Creole isn’t racial, it’s about where you were born. ”Louisiana Creole refers to people of various racial backgrounds who are descended from the colonial French, Spanish, and German settlers, Africans, and Native Americans from the time before the Louisiana territory became a possession of the United States through theLouisiana Purchase” from Wikipedia. They wanted to denote that they were born in Louisiana and not somewhere else. Very cool.
We decided to walk down Bourbon street that night. Flashy, lots of drunk people, and strip clubs. We don’t drink so all the bars didn’t really do anything for us. Stopped to eat at a place that I Can’t remember the name of and I got my first bowl of Crawfish Etouffee. It tasted really good at the time, but I was on a mission to find the best bowl of it. Found it the next night.
Wednesday while I was at the conference, Fae was just walking around, looking at artwork – lots of galleries down there, and generally getting to know the French Quarter. We ended up going for a walk that night up Magazine street – by the way, people were going on and on about all the shops on Magazine street – didn’t see it. Went to a place called Mother’s. You walk in and they hand you a menu, you walk along the counter and then order, and go find a seat. They come to your table and bring your food. Not dive-y, but not a 5 star restaurant. Nice homey place.
They win. Hands down. Had Crawfish Etouffee and THAT’s what it’s supposed to taste like. Talked with some of the staff, Felicia and Tyrone, and they made us feel welcome, told us stories, great great place. If you go to NO, you have to get to this place.
Thursday Fae took a cooking class at the culinary school in the French Quarter, made Shrimp Creole and corn and crawfish soup. Had a good time. I could already taste another bowl at Mother’s, so we went back for dinner. This time we didn’t eat so much we couldn’t walk. Saw our friends again and again, had a great time just sitting and eating and talking.
Friday we drove around in the Garden District and saw a lot of really huge old houses, including Anne Rice’s old house. Stopped by St. Louis Cemetery #1 to see Marie Laveau and then went to the airport. Got home to some really glad kids and even gladder cats My Mom stayed at our house for the week and it was a lot easier than the last time we went away
Tips for the French Quarter – don’t walk around alone after dark, go with a group or as a couple. Be careful of talking to everyone you see, don’t be rude, just be wary. Walking down Bourbon Street at least once is a must. Never go down there in June, holy crap. And go to Mother’s on Poydras.
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June 6th, 2010 mattdaddy
Sitting in the Continental presidents club with Fae, getting ready to get on the flight to NOLA(new orleans louisiana).
Can’t wait to get there:)
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May 29th, 2010 mattdaddy
So I’m going to Nawlins starting on the 6th and I’m pretty excited. The Microsoft BI Conference is in New Orleans this year, and we decided to spend the frequent flyer miles for a ticket for Fae so we can hang out, kidless, for a week in NO. I lived in Houston for 5 years, Fae for 10, and neither of us has been there. Go figure.
So, for all of you out there, has anyone been there? Need suggestions of things to do and places to go.
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May 22nd, 2010 mattdaddy
Well this person is getting this and I’m not.
This person is doing the wrong thing and I’m not going to say anything because I don’t want to get into that mess.
She’s paying more attention to him than to me.
I want what he has.
I have a really bad tendency. It’s the tendency to do things cyclically (i think I spelled it right but it doesn’t look it) and spiral down into poor me, everyone is planning/plotting against/excluding me. I have a bad tendency to be jealous, to project my thoughts into situations – sometimes without knowing what is really up, and just grind my own psyche into the dirt.
It’s all related to my physical well being. My elbow has been hurting for the last 15 months or so, and I have to get cortisone shots every three months. It’s keeping me back from really letting loose with any exercise because I’m always wary of hurting it and needing another shot. So I haven’t been doing Kendo much, and now that we aren’t going anymore, I’m worrying about what will fill the gap. So I take two oreos and worry about it a few hours later when I have a can of coke and a butterfinger. Which makes me feel fat, which depresses me, which puts me in a bad mood, which makes me think that everything is being done to screw me.
It keeps me down for periods of time now, depression, anger, frustration, worthlessness. It’s ultimately all tied to one thing – did I go and “get my rah rah’s out” as my sister puts it. Did I find some physical release for my energy, some way to channel some of that nervousness and frustration into some other task. I’ve always felt better when I’m doing martial arts, but we’re kinda tight right now so not having to pay for Kendo is actually a pretty good thing. The issue is, how do I start working out by myself, and continue it? How do I get off my ass and go outside and practice the kicks and punches and blocks for any period of time without someone to do it with? Sure, I could ask Aidan, but at the same time, I want to be the student, the kid, the one who’s being given direction and goals and things to shoot for by someone else.
I’m a follower who’s trying to become a leader and sometimes I just don’t know how to start. But maybe that’s the crux of the issue. Maybe it isn’t that I haven’t found the right person to show me how, but that I shouldn’t be looking for someone to show me, I have to become that person. I’ve got a lot going on at work, some big projects that we’re about to kick off, and I have to tell you, it’s scaring me and at the same time, I’m really excited. I’m not afraid that I can’t do it, or that I think it’ll be a disaster. I have enough confidence in myself that I know when it comes down to it, I’ll always get the job done. I have already done so in the past, but it’s so foreign to me in a way, so against my nature. Not necessarily against my nature, but DEFINITELY outside my comfort zone, my little safe box. I think it’s always easier to follow than to lead, but the things I want to discover about myself and really TRY are ALL outside my box.
As a type B personality….but as I type that, I’m not even sure that’s true. I think that I have been hiding behind that – that I am a follower, a calm representative of a team waiting for instructions, someone who feels better when I’m told rather than just doing, or telling someone else.
Am I more comfortable there tho, is that the root of my frustration? I know I make good decisions at work, that’s the interesting part – my type-B follower mentality is virtually gone at work, and has been for some time. Have I already made the necessary changes and I’m just sitting here whining about something that really isn’t an issue, except in my own head because I’m feeling depressed and fat?
Fuck this. I’m going to get my weapons and go outside and work out.
update: 2:16pm
meditated outside for about 10 min
warmups – stretching, jumping jacks, etc
10x front, side, round kicks
2 katas(forms)
all of my weapons techniques which took a while
and I decided that I would run to really work up a sweat –
1.5 miles, half walk, half run. Feeling like I can’t breathe right now, but I emotionally/mentally feel a lot better.
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