Just shoot me 🙁
No, nothing as bad as I make it out to be. Just a lot of stuff up in the air that’s stressing me to the maximum levels. You ever get hit from so many directions that you don’t feel like eating, you’re constantly nauseous, and every time you take a deep breath you feel like you’re either not getting enough air, or you’re about to throw up? Yeah, passed that phase about a week and a half ago.
I’m coming to the conclusion that one of the factors to my stress level is that I may have social anxiety. Once I get somewhere, I know I’ll be fine, but it’s the lead in to the event whether it be dinner with my inlaws, or holidays at my folx, or a conference presentation I have to do – I always tend to project anything and everything that could possibly go wrong and take that to the nth degree.
So we’re invited to Fae’s cousins wedding in Brooklyn. It’s at the Brooklyn Museum of Art no less – schwank!!! It was a beautiful wedding, with a wonderful Yeminite Jewish ceremony (his father is from Yemen), awesome food and drink hour and excellent dining and dancing. Man, jews know how to party! Just an all around good time. Problem was, I was dreading it. Not because of the people there, I love Fae’s extended family, they’re a blast. But because I was going to have to leave my house and go somewhere and it’s easier to just stay home I felt my stress levels rising. Of course I wasn’t going to give into it, tho the Blizzard we drove through to get home was pretty amazing and almost decided for us, but I’m very glad we were able to make it.
There still exists the social anxiety. I feel like becoming a hermit with my family and just never go out. What is up with that? I think it’s my stress levels being so increased, my elbow problems, and all the shit that is going on with Gillian’s school which I won’t even get into. Plus I’ve not been working out much because my elbow is hurting so bad and mostly because i’m so damn lazy. I know when I don’t regularly exercise, I get really a
I guess I’m just asking for some calming energy sent my way, everyone take a deep breath for me, okay? 🙂