Wow…

It’s saturday, and I didn’t have a very good day today. Spent the night reliving the accident 11 or 12 times. Not alot of fun, nor a good night asleep. I think today was my ‘shock’ day.

if you have no idea what I am talking about, read the previous posts. I rolled my car three times and walked away with a few scratches.

I’ve been thinking about it all day. Why did I survive? Is there something special I need to do? Was it the hand of god, a guardian angel, my own personal mojo, some esoteric magic that saved me? At first, I really didn’t give a crap what it was, I survived. I was well enough to yell across the road at the driver of the truck, many obscenities that I am not going to repeat on my mostly PG blog.

I was slammed into, violently, practically tossed into the curb and rolled across three lanes of traffic. How did I not get hit by another car? How am I not dead, or least injured in some way. In a way, strangely enough, I feel a little guilty because I feel like I should be more injured than I am. Almost as if I am upset because I went through all of that and only came out with a few scratches. Granted…my car is toast. But except for some soreness in my left shoulder, I’m walking around fine. I went in the pool today for goodness sake.

How did I feel going through all of that? What was going through my head as I tumbled over and over in my car? I was sad. Sad that I didn’t get a chance to tell my wife I loved her before I left for my appointment. Sad that I didn’t get a chance to play with my kids more than I have been. Screaming at the top of my lungs, all I could think was how sad I was, and how much I wanted to get through this.

And what happened? I came to a stop on the tires, bent out of shape as they were, turned off the car, got out quickly, and started screaming at the guy in the truck that hit me. What did I do wrong? Why did I deserve to go through this torture? I am still not sure why it happened, and the more I think about it, the less I want to know. I definitely think it’s making me think about the things around me, how lucky I am with everything that I have, how lucky I was to survive, and how important cherishing the people in your life that make it special. No, I’m not about to go on the speaking tour about how an accident change my life. I am going to stop and smell the roses, and play more, and tell my wife I love her and my kids and my friends and parents.

All I wanted to do while the car was rolling was to get out and go home and hug my family. I did that, and I am thankful and grateful for it. I think it’s time to get on with my life and see why fate spared me.

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